Pocket Molars Hoodie — Funny Sweet Tooth Candy Dispenser

Childhood nostalgia is a disease, so here is the cure. You remember the snap-back plastic head, the satisfying mechanical click, and the little chalky brick of sugar. We just swapped out the candy for the inevitable long-term result of eating it.

A perfectly normal pocket accessory for when you need a quick bicuspid on the go. Watch the light leave your coworker's eyes when you offer them a mid-afternoon refreshment and dispense a startlingly realistic adult molar directly into their open palm. An excellently weird hoodie for fans of dark humor or anyone seeking a deeply upsetting dentist gag gift.

The Fine Print:

• Does not include gums, nerve endings, or dental records.
• Do not ask where the inventory was sourced.
• Not recognized as legal tender by the Tooth Fairy.
• Chewing on these will void your remaining warranty on life.

A classic staple for unsettling your peers, designed for comfortable everyday hauntings.

Everything is printed to order by our manufacturing partners, mainly in the United States — your item is made after you buy it, then shipped fast with tracking emailed the moment it leaves the printer. Free U.S. shipping on orders $20+.

Production and transit times are published as separate numbers in the shipping policy, so you can check them before you buy.

Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy. Questions go to a person, not a ticket robot: contact us.