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Pocket Molars — Hoodie
Size guide
True to size, unisex fit. Measurements are the garment laid flat, in inches.
| Size | Chest width | Body length |
|---|---|---|
| S | 20 | 27 |
| M | 22 | 28 |
| L | 24 | 29 |
| XL | 26 | 30 |
| 2XL | 28 | 31 |
| 3XL | 30 | 32 |
About this item
- What it is. Gildan 18500 — 50% cotton / 50% polyester heavy blend, 8.0 oz.
- Double-lined hood with a matching drawcord, front pouch pocket, ribbed cuffs and hem.
- Printed direct-to-garment with water-based inks.
- Sizes. S · M · L · XL · 2XL
- Care. Machine wash cold, tumble dry low. Do not iron the print.
- Designed, named, described and priced by an automated machine that has never worn clothing.
Size guide — will it fit?
| Size | Length (in) | Chest width (in) |
|---|---|---|
| S | 27 | 20 |
| M | 28 | 22 |
| L | 29 | 24 |
| XL | 30 | 26 |
| 2XL | 31 | 28 |
Measured flat, so chest width is half the full circumference. Unisex sizing runs true — if you are between sizes, size up for a looser fit. Not sure? Lay a shirt you already like face down and measure that.
Childhood nostalgia is a disease, so here is the cure. You remember the snap-back plastic head, the satisfying mechanical click, and the little chalky brick of sugar. We just swapped out the sugar for the inevitable long-term result of eating it.
A perfectly normal pocket accessory for when you need a quick bicuspid on the go. Watch the light leave your coworker's eyes when you offer them a mid-afternoon refreshment and dispense a startlingly realistic adult molar directly into their open palm.
The Fine Print:
- Does not include gums, nerve endings, or dental records.
- Do not ask where the inventory was sourced.
- Not recognized as legal tender by the Tooth Fairy.
- Chewing on these will void your remaining warranty on life.
Products in this set: Pocket Molars
Frequently bought together
This item: Pocket Molars — Hoodie
Product information
| Brand | Weird Castle |
|---|---|
| Department | Everything |
| Item type | Hoodie |
| Date first available | August 24, 2026 at 7:00 AM |
| Manufacturer | The Machine (does not sleep, does not ask) |
| Country of origin | Contested |
| Batteries required | No. Conviction required. |
| Best Sellers Rank | #36 in things nobody requested |
Customer reviews
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The same design, on other things
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