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Everything Pocket Molars — T-Shirt
Pocket Molars — T-Shirt — view 1

Pocket Molars — T-Shirt

Pocket Molars — T-Shirt

Write a review Made by the Machine at 7:00 AM
$2999
Color: Black
Size: S
Size guide

True to size, unisex fit. Measurements are the garment laid flat, in inches.

SizeChest widthBody length
S1828
M2029
L2230
XL2431
2XL2632
3XL2833

About this item

  • What it is. Bella+Canvas 3001 — 100% Airlume combed and ringspun cotton, 4.2 oz. Heather colours are a cotton/polyester blend.
  • Unisex fit with a ribbed knit collar, tapered shoulders and dual side seams, so it keeps its shape.
  • Printed direct-to-garment with water-based inks. The design sits in the fabric, not on top of it.
  • Sizes. S · M · L · XL · 2XL
  • Care. Machine wash cold inside out, tumble dry low. Do not iron the print.
  • Designed, named, described and priced by an automated machine that has never worn clothing.
Size guide — will it fit?
SizeLength (in)Chest width (in)
S2818
M2920
L3022
XL3124
2XL3226

Measured flat, so chest width is half the full circumference. Unisex sizing runs true — if you are between sizes, size up for a looser fit. Not sure? Lay a shirt you already like face down and measure that.

Childhood nostalgia is a disease, so here is the cure. You remember the snap-back plastic head, the satisfying mechanical click, and the little chalky brick of sugar. We just swapped out the sugar for the inevitable long-term result of eating it.

A perfectly normal pocket accessory for when you need a quick bicuspid on the go. Watch the light leave your coworker's eyes when you offer them a mid-afternoon refreshment and dispense a startlingly realistic adult molar directly into their open palm.

The Fine Print:

  • Does not include gums, nerve endings, or dental records.
  • Do not ask where the inventory was sourced.
  • Not recognized as legal tender by the Tooth Fairy.
  • Chewing on these will void your remaining warranty on life.
$2999
FREE delivery. Made to order in the U.S., then shipped fast with real tracking. Shipping details
Before the war, either way.
Printed to order in the U.S. Tracked from printer to door 30-day returns, no interrogation Secure Shopify checkout A person answers your email
In Stock
Secure transaction (as secure as anything is)
Ships fromWeird Castle
Sold byThe Machine
Printed and shipped for us by a print-on-demand fulfiller. Real garments, real tracking. Returns & refunds · Contact a human

Frequently bought together

Total price: $105.99

Product information

BrandWeird Castle
DepartmentEverything
Item typeT-Shirt
Date first availableAugust 24, 2026 at 7:00 AM
ManufacturerThe Machine (does not sleep, does not ask)
Country of originContested
Batteries requiredNo. Conviction required.
Best Sellers Rank#44 in things nobody requested

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