Premium Bone Vault Schematics — Weird Reliquary Hoodie

Why let your metacarpals rot in a damp catacomb when they could be resting in gold-plated, hermetically sealed splendor? This exploded-view schematic hoodie breaks down the ultimate high-net-worth calcium repository, pitched directly from the heavens. Approved by 4 out of 5 martyred saints for maximum posthumous brand visibility, we stripped away the sacred mystery to reveal what a reliquary actually is: luxury Tupperware for holy femurs. Maximize your corpse's retail footprint with this weird goth streetwear staple.

• Includes crystal viewing window for optimal structural flexing
• High-density gold leaf prevents unauthorized miracle leakage
• Bring your own martyr (BYOM)
• Void if bones begin to weep scented oils

This premium pullover hoodie features a cozy fleece interior, classic unisex fit, and a kangaroo pouch perfect for storing everyday holy relics, spare metacarpals, or just your keys.

Everything is printed to order — your item is made after you buy it. Production takes 2–7 business days, then 3–5 in transit (U.S.) or 10–20 international. Most U.S. orders arrive within 5–12 days, with tracking emailed when it ships.

Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy.