Bone Vault Schematics Poster - Funny Macabre Decor

Why let your metacarpals rot in a damp catacomb when they could be resting in hermetically sealed splendor? This exploded-view schematic poster breaks down the ultimate high-net-worth calcium repository, pitching the holy grail of weird macabre wall decor directly from the heavens.

Approved by four out of five martyred saints for maximum posthumous brand visibility. We stripped away the sacred mystery to reveal what a reliquary actually is: luxury Tupperware for holy femurs. Maximize your corpse's retail footprint with the perfect weird art gift for history nerds and recovering Catholics.

• Diagram highlights a viewing pane for optimal structural flexing
• Blueprint specifies holy wards to prevent unauthorized miracle leakage
• Bring your own martyr (BYOM)
• Warranty void if bones begin to weep scented oils

Arrives ready to assert dominance over your other, less holy wall hangings.

Everything is printed to order by our manufacturing partners, mainly in the United States — your item is made after you buy it, then shipped fast with tracking emailed the moment it leaves the printer. Free U.S. shipping on orders $20+.

Production and transit times are published as separate numbers in the shipping policy, so you can check them before you buy.

Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy. Questions go to a person, not a ticket robot: contact us.