Premium Bone Vault Schematics — Funny Gothic Poster Art
Printed to order · arrives in 5–12 days in the U.S. · free delivery
30-day returns · secure Shopify checkout · a human answers questions
About this item
Why let your metacarpals rot in a damp catacomb when they could be resting in gold-plated, hermetically sealed splendor? This exploded-view schematic poster breaks down the ultimate high-net-worth calcium repository. Perfect for anyone seeking weird gothic wall art or a funny macabre gift to spice up their mausoleum, we stripped away the sacred mystery to reveal what a reliquary actually is: luxury Tupperware for holy femurs. Maximize your corpse's retail footprint.
- Includes crystal viewing window for optimal structural flexing
- High-density gold leaf prevents unauthorized miracle leakage
- Bring your own martyr (BYOM)
- Void if bones begin to weep scented oils
Printed on premium, museum-grade matte paper that looks great framed or tacked directly to your cathedral wall. Shipped securely rolled in a sturdy tube.
Shipping & returns
Everything is printed to order — your item is made after you buy it. Production takes 2–7 business days, then 3–5 in transit (U.S.) or 10–20 international. Most U.S. orders arrive within 5–12 days, with tracking emailed when it ships.
Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy.