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“It’s giving... season finale energy.”
“A lady called me brave. I was buying Lunchables.”
“Two old men nodded at me. I nodded back. I think I joined something.”
“Had to Google ‘Stolen Valor Laws’ just to be safe.”
“It makes me look like I have a Facebook account I lost the password to.”
“Feels like a dare I said yes to in 2016.”
“My therapist asked if we could unpack ‘the hat.’”
“My niece calls me ‘General Sadness.’”
Some lists get redacted. Some lists get leaked. This one gets rewarded: drop your email, get 10% off your next weird purchase.