Transylvanian Lick Vampire Blanket — Funny Dracula Throw
- Printed to order in the U.S.
- Tracked to your door
- Free U.S. shipping on orders $20+ — this one gets you there
- 30-day returns
- A person answers your email
Ships fast, with tracking · Shipping details
Size: 50" × 60"
Secure Shopify checkout · a person answers your email
About this item
The prince of darkness didn't cross oceans of time for your iron-deficient blood. He crossed them because you got sloppy and flashed a solid-gold Day-Date in the wrong part of Wallachia. The fog, the cape, and the hypnotic gaze are all just premium misdirection for a petty street mugging.
Rendered in unapologetic 90s parking-lot bootleg glory, this funny vampire throw blanket takes the apex predator of gothic horror and reduces him to a common pickpocket with exceptional sleight of hand. Immortality is expensive, and castles do not heat themselves.
- Does not reflect current Transylvanian street value
- Garlic will not protect your jewelry
- Bite marks strictly used as a distraction technique
The perfect gothic horror decor piece for your couch, crypt, or getaway vehicle.
Shipping & returns
Everything is printed to order by our manufacturing partners, mainly in the United States — your item is made after you buy it, then shipped fast with tracking emailed the moment it leaves the printer. Free U.S. shipping on orders $20+.
Production and transit times are published as separate numbers in the shipping policy, so you can check them before you buy.
Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy. Questions go to a person, not a ticket robot: contact us.
