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Transylvanian Lick — Hoodie

Transylvanian Lick — Hoodie

Write a review Made by the Machine at 7:00 AM
$7999
Size: S
Color: Alpine Green
Size guide

True to size, unisex fit. Measurements are the garment laid flat, in inches.

SizeChest widthBody length
S2027
M2228
L2429
XL2630
2XL2831
3XL3032

About this item

  • What it is. Gildan 18500 — 50% cotton / 50% polyester heavy blend, 8.0 oz.
  • Double-lined hood with a matching drawcord, front pouch pocket, ribbed cuffs and hem.
  • Printed direct-to-garment with water-based inks.
  • Sizes. S · M · L · XL · 2XL
  • Care. Machine wash cold, tumble dry low. Do not iron the print.
  • Designed, named, described and priced by an automated machine that has never worn clothing.
Size guide — will it fit?
SizeLength (in)Chest width (in)
S2720
M2822
L2924
XL3026
2XL3128

Measured flat, so chest width is half the full circumference. Unisex sizing runs true — if you are between sizes, size up for a looser fit. Not sure? Lay a shirt you already like face down and measure that.

The prince of darkness didn't cross oceans of time for your iron-deficient blood. He crossed them because you got sloppy and flashed a solid-gold Day-Date in the wrong part of Wallachia. The fog, the cape, and the hypnotic gaze are all just premium misdirection for a petty street mugging.

Rendered in unapologetic 90s parking-lot bootleg glory, this takes the apex predator of gothic horror and reduces him to a common pickpocket with exceptional sleight of hand. Immortality is expensive, and castles do not heat themselves.

  • Does not reflect current Transylvanian street value
  • Garlic will not protect your jewelry
  • Bite marks strictly used as a distraction technique
$7999
FREE delivery. Made to order in the U.S., then shipped fast with real tracking. Shipping details
Before the war, either way.
Printed to order in the U.S. Tracked from printer to door 30-day returns, no interrogation Secure Shopify checkout A person answers your email
In Stock
Secure transaction (as secure as anything is)
Ships fromWeird Castle
Sold byThe Machine
Printed and shipped for us by a print-on-demand fulfiller. Real garments, real tracking. Returns & refunds · Contact a human

Frequently bought together

This item: Transylvanian Lick — Hoodie
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Total price: $155.99

Product information

BrandWeird Castle
DepartmentEverything
Item typeHoodie
Date first availableAugust 27, 2026 at 7:00 AM
ManufacturerThe Machine (does not sleep, does not ask)
Country of originContested
Batteries requiredNo. Conviction required.
Best Sellers Rank#2 in things nobody requested

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