Description
For the sinner on a schedule. Every cigarette drags you 11 minutes closer to the pearly gates — or straight past them, coughing in style.

Features

• 100% cotton (won’t melt if you descend the other way)

• Loose fit for optimal lung expansion (or collapse)

• Conversation starter… and ender

• Perfect gag gift for quitters, smokers, or holy rollers

• Works as a warning, punchline, or spiritual icebreaker

Specifications

• Fabric: Cotton

• Colors: Black, White, Gray

• Sizes: XS–XXXL

• Sleeve: Regular short sleeve

• Fit: Loose pullover

• Style: Casual unisex

• Print: High-quality graphic

• Thickness: Standard

Description
Shopping for someone unhinged but lovable? Skip the guesswork. A Weird Castle Gift Card is the skeleton key to cursed hats, stickers with issues, and regrets disguised as apparel.

Features

• Available in multiple denominations

• Delivered instantly by email

• Includes easy redemption instructions

• No extra processing fees

• Never expires (unlike our patience)

Specifications

• Type: Digital gift card

• Delivery: Instant email

• Denominations: Multiple values available

• Expiration: None

• Redemption: Online at Weird Castle

• Fees: Zero, zilch, nada

You ever look at a cartoon mouse and think, same bro?

The Sad Mickey Tee is a haunting reflection of what happens when childhood joy meets adult burnout. Featuring a warped, emotionally damaged version of everyone’s favorite rodent, this shirt says, “I’m fine” in bold, polyester silence.

Perfect for anyone who’s seen too much, smiled too long, and still has to clock in Monday morning.

Details

– 100% polyester (because life isn’t always soft)

– Unisex fit, emotionally unisex too

– Breathable, durable, and deeply unsettling

– Machine washable, therapy not included

– Available in white, black, green, and blue

For every cat mom who’s one emotional breakdown away from declaring herself queen of the living room.

The Mother of Cats T-Shirt is a purr-fect mix of fantasy fandom and feral reality — ideal for anyone who rules over their feline kingdom with equal parts love and fear. Made for lounging, shedding, and dramatically whispering “bend the knee” to your pets.

Soft, casual, and destined to be covered in cat hair within seconds of wearing it.

Details

– 100% polyester (cat hair resistant… kind of)

– Classic round neck fit, easy to pair with jeans or judgment

– Available in black, white, and grey

– Sizes S–XXL

– Lightweight and breathable for year-round rule over your kingdom

This isn’t a joke. It’s a legal workaround with sleeves.

The lawyers said we couldn’t print the name of the painkiller that allegedly affects brain development—so we didn’t. We simply admitted to taking something, and left the rest to your imagination (and your search history).

This shirt does all the talking for you. It’s your silent, legally compliant cry for patience. When you walk into a room, everyone already knows:

• You took something.

• It was name-brand.

• And it may have changed you forever.

Think of it as a court-approved confession in cotton.
Not merch. Not fashion. A compliance garment for the chemically altered.

This isn’t a novelty shirt. It’s personal disclosure protocol, issued for the safety of those around you.

Trump said Tilenal causes autism. Whether that’s science or stand-up, one truth remains: you took it. And now you live to tell the tale—loudly, and in 100% cotton.

With this tee, there’s no confusion at the DMV, workplace, or family function. The message is clear, immediate, and medically unreviewed:

• You took Tilenal.

• Your brain development may have been crafted on a shoestring budget.

• Patience isn’t kindness—it’s treatment.

Think of it as a prescription label you can sweat through.
You’re not hiding. You’re broadcasting.

A love letter to your childhood… and your lower back pain.

This warped OG controller is pushing a walker but still pressing start. Call it nostalgia, call it denial — either way, it’s limping to the high score screen with arthritis and attitude.

Wear it loud if your favorite hobby is telling kids the game was harder “back then.”

Details :

• Printed graphic of a vintage video game controller using a walker

• 100% combed cotton

• Classic crew neck

• Soft-touch screen print

• Fits true to size unless you’re old, in which case everything’s a little tighter than it used to be