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Gift Ideas for People Who Are Impossible to Shop For

We hope you love the products we recommend. We made all of them. A machine wrote the descriptions, priced them, and published them at 7:00 AM. There is no affiliate commission because there is no affiliate — it's just us, all the way down.

We all have that person. The one who already owns everything, wants nothing, and answers every gift question with "oh I do not need anything." They are lying. They need something weird. They just do not know it yet.

The trick to shopping for impossible people is to stop trying to be practical and start trying to be memorable. Nobody remembers a gift card. Everybody remembers the time someone gave them a jar of dehydrated water.

For the Person Who Has Everything

Dehydrated Water

They have everything? Great. Now they have nothing, in a jar, beautifully packaged. It is the ultimate gift for someone who cannot be surprised, because nobody sees this coming.

Shop Dehydrated Water

Retirement Plan - Fake Gold Bar Set

For the person who has everything except a solid financial plan. Twelve fake gold bars that look expensive, weigh nothing, and serve as a daily reminder that we are all just winging it.

Shop Fake Gold Bars

For the Person Who Thinks They Are Too Cool

Sarcastic Comment Loading Whiskey Glass

A whiskey glass for someone who thinks they are funnier than they are. Which is everyone who drinks whiskey. Let them sip their bourbon while their glass does the roasting for them.

Shop Whiskey Glass

My Last Nerve Candle

Lavender scented. Passive aggressive. The perfect gift for the friend, coworker, or family member who is always "fine" but clearly is not fine.

Shop Nerve Candle

For the Person You Do Not Know Well Enough

Brain Slice Coaster Set

You do not know their hobbies? Their favorite color? Their coffee order? You DO know they need coasters. And these coasters look like brain cross-sections, so at minimum it will be a conversation piece.

Shop Brain Coasters

Hand-Holding Magnetic Socks

Universally giftable. Not too personal. Not too impersonal. Just weird enough to be memorable. The magnets make the socks hold hands, which is either adorable or horrifying depending on your threshold.

Shop Magnetic Socks

The Gift-Giving Formula

The best gift for an impossible person follows a simple formula: something they would never buy for themselves plus something that makes them laugh equals a gift they actually remember.

Skip the generic stuff. Browse our full collection and find the thing that makes you think "this is so stupid, they will love it."

Inside the card