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Nobody wants another candle that smells like "ocean breeze" or a gift card to a store that only sells throw pillows. The bar for gifts is underground, and we are here to dig even deeper.Whether you are shopping for a birthday, a white elephant exchange, or a friend who already has everything (and terrible taste), this list of funny gifts will either make you the hero or get your name permanently removed from the group chat.Gifts That Say "I Know You Too Well"1. Dehydrated WaterA premium jar of absolutely nothing, beautifully packaged for people who fall for everything. Perfect for the friend who buys every wellness trend they see on TikTok.Shop Dehydrated Water2. Cocaine Baggie Stickers (40-Pack)Forty tiny stickers that look incredibly suspicious and serve absolutely no illegal purpose. Stick them on laptops, water bottles, or your coworker's desk when HR is not looking.Shop Cocaine Baggie Stickers3. Chain of Custody Evidence BagsFor the true crime fan who has podcasted their way through every murder case since 2018. Hand them their birthday present in an evidence bag and watch them question everything.Shop Evidence Bags4. Retirement Plan - Fake Gold Bar SetTwelve fake gold bars for the person whose financial plan is vibes and hoping for the best. Stack them on a desk or hand them to your parents when they ask about your 401(k).Shop Fake Gold BarsWearable Chaos5. Ask Me About My Ninja Disguise TeeA t-shirt that flips over your head to reveal a ninja mask. Objectively the funniest thing you can wear to a family dinner. Your uncle will ask you to do it fourteen times.Shop Ninja Disguise Tee6. Bald Man's CombA real comb for a head with no hair. Simple. Devastating. Perfect for the dad who has been losing the battle since 2014 and pretending he chose to go bald.Shop Bald Man's Comb7. AM/PM SlippersOne slipper says coffee. The other says wine. For the person whose entire personality is the transition between caffeine and alcohol.Shop AM/PM Slippers8. Duck Feet SocksSocks that make your feet look like duck feet. We live in a post-rational society and this is what passes for joy now. Quack.Shop Duck Feet SocksConversation Starters (or Enders)9. Brain Slice Coaster Set (10-Pack)Ten coasters shaped like cross-sections of a human brain. For the med student, the true crime fan, or anyone who wants their coffee table to look like a crime scene.Shop Brain Coasters10. Live Nudes Shower CurtainA shower curtain that says "Live Nudes" in neon lettering. Technically not false advertising. Guaranteed to make your bathroom the most talked-about room in the house.Shop Live Nudes Curtain11. Hangry First Aid Lunch BoxAn insulated lunch bag designed to look like a first aid kit, because hunger IS an emergency. For the coworker who turns into a different person when they miss lunch.Shop Hangry Lunch Box12. My Last Nerve CandleA lavender-scented candle for when aromatherapy is the only thing standing between you and a public meltdown. Smells great. Message is loud and clear.Shop Nerve Candle13. Taste the Rainbow (of Debt) AirPods CaseA candy-themed AirPods case for the person who treats their earbuds like a fashion statement and their credit card like a suggestion.Shop AirPods Case14. Middle Finger Duck StatueA rubber duck giving you the finger. Desk decor that says everything you cannot say in the Monday morning meeting. King of the Pond energy.Shop Finger Duck15. Deadlines Are Murder Pen HolderA pen holder shaped like a crime scene outline. For anyone who treats every email with "per my last message" energy.Shop Pen HolderThe Bottom LineGood gifts do not come from the heart. They come from the part of your brain that thinks "this is so stupid it is perfect." That is the Weird Castle promise: every product in our store was chosen because it made someone laugh, cringe, or say "I need this immediately."Browse the full collection of funny gifts, gag items, and novelty nonsense and find something that will make someone's day weirder.