About Weird Castle

The plain version. The rest of this page, and most of this website, is a joke — see “About the parody” below.

Weird Castle is an independent online store based in Ohio, United States. It sells original satirical apparel and art: t-shirts, hoodies, hats, mugs, stickers and prints, all carrying artwork created here rather than licensed or bought in.

How it works

Designs originate with us. Most are produced by an automated design system we built, and a person reviews the result before anything is listed for sale. We do not resell other people’s designs and we do not drop-ship from third-party catalogues.

Items are printed to order by print-on-demand manufacturing partners, mainly in the United States. Nothing is held in stock — your item is made after you buy it. That is why an order takes roughly 5–12 days to arrive in the U.S. rather than two, and why we publish production time and delivery time as separate numbers in our shipping policy.

Why it’s a castle

The name is not random. Josh grew up outside Cincinnati, and he was one of the kids who got the letter from Johnny’s Toys — a toy store across the river in Latonia, Kentucky, that opened in 1939 and closed in 2009. Every year, near your birthday, an envelope arrived with a small key inside. You took the key to the store, it opened the door of a castle built inside the building, and you went in and picked something to take home. Free.

None of it was expensive. The gifts were small and the castle was plywood and paint. What made it enormous was that a shop had written your birthday down a year in advance and then gave you a door that, for a few minutes, only you were allowed through.

That is the whole idea behind this place, jokes included: a castle you get to walk into on your birthday. Our birthday club is that program, copied on purpose and with affection — minus the key, because we cannot mail metal yet.

In memory of Johnny’s Toys, Latonia, Kentucky, 1939–2009, and of Helen Warren, who mailed the birthday cards there for more than fifty years. Weird Castle has no connection to Johnny’s Toys or to anyone who ran it; we just grew up with it.

About the parody

Most of this website is satire. Pages here deliberately imitate the visual style of well-known websites — a search engine, an online encyclopedia, a streaming service, a classifieds board, a professional network — as parody. Weird Castle is not affiliated with, endorsed by, sponsored by, or connected to any company or brand it parodies, and no page here is intended to be mistaken for one of theirs. The staff members, departments and institutions described across the site are fictional, as are any statistics presented as part of the joke.

The store is not part of the joke. Orders are real, they are manufactured and shipped, and they are covered by the policies below.

Business details

Trading name

Weird Castle

Owner

Josh Whitehead

Contact

hello@boneyardcollective.com

Telephone

+1 513-409-1296

Email

weirdcastlecrew@gmail.com

Founded

2024

Products listed

389

Fulfilment

Printed to order, shipped worldwide

Returns

30 days from delivery

Policies and contact

A person answers correspondence within 1–2 business days.

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