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Weird Castle
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Crown of Clowns - Hats, Headwear, Loneliness

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Civil War Hat Civil War Hat
Civil War Hat
$55.00 USD
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Civil War 2 Hat Civil War 2 Hat
Civil War 2 Hat
$45.00 USD
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Civil War Veteran - Core Hat Civil War Veteran - Core Hat
Civil War Veteran - Core Hat
$24.99 USD
/  per 
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Rooftop Rookies Hat Rooftop Rookies Hat
Rooftop Rookies Hat
$24.99 USD
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Two Wars, Zero Service – Civil War I & II Hat Bundle Two Wars, Zero Service – Civil War I & II Hat Bundle
Two Wars, Zero Service – Civil War I & II Hat Bundle
$85.00 USD
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Civil War 2 Veteran - Core Civil War 2 Veteran - Core
Civil War 2 Veteran - Core
$24.99 USD
/  per 
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Sips Tea Hat
Sips Tea Hat
$24.99 USD
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Solar Fan Hat Solar Fan Hat
Solar Fan Hat
$27.99 USD
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Snack Attack Hat Snack Attack Hat
Snack Attack Hat
$27.99 USD
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Retired Drug Dealer Hat Retired Drug Dealer Hat
Retired Drug Dealer Hat
$24.99 USD
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Local Pickup Available

The Threadquarters – Apparel for the Mentally Overdressed

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I Love Cocks Tee I Love Cocks Tee
I Love Cocks Tee
$24.99 USD
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I Don’t Drink, Just Drugs Tee I Don’t Drink, Just Drugs Tee
I Don’t Drink, Just Drugs Tee
$29.99 USD
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Eleven Minutes Closer Tee
Eleven Minutes Closer Tee
$29.99 USD
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Certified Pussy Lover Tee Certified Pussy Lover Tee
Certified Pussy Lover Tee
$29.99 USD
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Scoliosis Shrimp Tee Scoliosis Shrimp Tee
Scoliosis Shrimp Tee
$29.99 USD
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Rooftop Rookies Shirt Rooftop Rookies Shirt
Rooftop Rookies Shirt
$29.99 USD
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Civil War Veteran Tee Civil War Veteran Tee
Civil War Veteran Tee
$27.99 USD
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Nothing to Hide Pants Nothing to Hide Pants
Nothing to Hide Pants
$39.99 USD
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Hit Maxes, Evade Taxes Tee Hit Maxes, Evade Taxes Tee
Hit Maxes, Evade Taxes Tee
$29.99 USD
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Autism Tee
Autism Tee
$29.99 USD
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Local Pickup Available

The Peel Deal – Stickers With Authority Issues

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Matrix Red & Blue Pill Poster Matrix Red & Blue Pill Poster
Matrix Red & Blue Pill Poster
from $27.99 USD
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Rooftop Rookies Sticker Rooftop Rookies Sticker
Rooftop Rookies Sticker
from $6.99 USD
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Nugs Not Drugs Stickers (3-Pack)
Nugs Not Drugs Stickers (3-Pack)
$11.99 USD
/  per 
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Well Well Well… Consequences Stickers
Well Well Well… Consequences Stickers
$15.00 USD
/  per 
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0.0 – I Don’t Run Stickers (3-Pack)
0.0 – I Don’t Run Stickers (3-Pack)
$11.99 USD
/  per 
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You Had Me at Trigger Warning Sticker
You Had Me at Trigger Warning Sticker
$9.99 USD
/  per 
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I’ll Just Dissociate Sticker
I’ll Just Dissociate Sticker
$9.99 USD
/  per 
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My Owner Beats Me Sticker (3 Pack)
My Owner Beats Me Sticker (3 Pack)
$11.99 USD
/  per 
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Hey, You Dropped This… Sticker
Hey, You Dropped This… Sticker
$9.99 USD
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Remember Kids… Stickers (6-Pack)
Remember Kids… Stickers (6-Pack)
$14.99 USD
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Local Pickup Available

The Cracked Cabinet – Home Goods With a Death Wish

Automatic Door Closer Automatic Door Closer
Automatic Door Closer
$19.99 USD
/  per 
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Suspension Lamp Suspension Lamp
Suspension Lamp
from $49.99 USD
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Your Butt Napkins, My Lord Plaque Your Butt Napkins, My Lord Plaque
Your Butt Napkins, My Lord Plaque
$14.99 USD
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Big Fan Magnet
Big Fan Magnet
$14.99 USD
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Deadlines Are Murder Pen Holder Deadlines Are Murder Pen Holder
Deadlines Are Murder Pen Holder
$14.99 USD
/  per 
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Local Pickup Available

Dungeon of Shenanigans – Games for People Who Can’t Be Trusted

New Phone, Who Dis? Game
New Phone, Who Dis? Game
$29.99 USD
/  per 
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Word Teasers: Idioms Edition
Word Teasers: Idioms Edition
$24.99 USD
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Uncuffed Pack – That Sound Game Expansion
Uncuffed Pack – That Sound Game Expansion
$24.99 USD
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X-Tension Pack – NSFW Expansion for That Sound Game
X-Tension Pack – NSFW Expansion for That Sound Game
$24.99 USD
/  per 
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Local Pickup Available

Satchel of Secrets – Bags With Alibis

World Champion Belt Bag World Champion Belt Bag
World Champion Belt Bag
$29.99 USD
/  per 
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Chain of Custody Evidence Bags (4 Pack)
Chain of Custody Evidence Bags (4 Pack)
$24.99 USD
/  per 
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Local Pickup Available

Sole Proprietors – Footwear With Regrets

Big Feet Slippers Big Feet Slippers
Big Feet Slippers
$24.99 USD
/  per 
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Hand-Holding Magnetic Socks
Hand-Holding Magnetic Socks
$21.99 USD
/  per 
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Trumpy Socks
Trumpy Socks
$14.99 USD
/  per 
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Local Pickup Available

The Giggling Guillotine – Where Good Taste Dies Laughing

JackAsspirin™ Gag Gift Box
JackAsspirin™ Gag Gift Box
$14.99 USD
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OldGitamol™ Gag Gift (Jelly Bean Pill Bottle)
OldGitamol™ Gag Gift (Jelly Bean Pill Bottle)
$24.99 USD
/  per 
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Dumbass Bandages (20 Count)
Dumbass Bandages (20 Count)
$12.99 USD
/  per 
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Local Pickup Available

Castle High School Bans Hats After Students Claim ‘Active Duty’ to Skip Exams

The haunted rug is missing. Do not follow.

Goblin Choir rehearsing off-key again.

Economy in Flux: Gold Standard Replaced by “Vibes”

Do not engage the hallway echo. It’s learning.

Investigation Launched Into Man Claiming He ‘Served in Civil War 1.

Royal bugle replaced with fart noises. No suspects.

Nothing is on fire. Yet.

Missing Dragon Found in Ceiling of Banquet Hall

Castle Festival Cancelled After Ghost Union Demands “Afterlife Pay”

Weird Emails

First dibs on drops, before the internet ruins them

Not saying there’s a hidden shop, but you didn’t hear it from us

We once emailed someone so hard they bought two

Discounts? Sometimes. On purpose? Never

Our open rate is higher than most people’s self-esteem

Every email unlocks either truth or coupons. Sometimes both.

Sometimes we email in Latin. It’s fine

By clicking the button you agree to the Privacy Policy

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