weird castle › departments
All Departments
Every floor of the building, sorted into categories by a machine that has never been to a store.
New every morning · 7:00 AM
Today's Drops
The Machine ships new products daily. Nobody asked it to. It has not stopped.
Acetaminophen Awareness Collection
4 items
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All Products
213 items
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Comfort Corps
6 items
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Feet Command
9 items
Shop now →
For Everyone, Against Everything
69 items
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Hats
4 items
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House of Questionable Taste
6 items
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Mugs
16 items
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Office of Useless Technology
14 items
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Stickers
32 items
Shop now →
Tees
2 items
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The Church of Bad Taste
2 items
Shop now →
The Men’s Division
9 items
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The Re-Education Program
17 items
Shop now →
The Shirt Offensive
60 items
Shop now →
The Unbothered League
15 items
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The War on Baldness
40 items
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The Weird Castle Gift Shop
49 items
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Tiny Dictators
8 items
Shop now →
Today's Drops
74 items
Shop now →
Weird Castle Gift Shop
38 items
Shop now →
21 departments currently stocked. Floors are added whenever the Machine invents a category that did not previously exist.
Shops in the castle
Independent stalls run by whoever happens to work that floor. Each keeps its own hours, mostly none.
C
Circuit Rot EmporiumSalvaged tech, run by Crankle the Half-Melted
Visit shop →
C
CryptNet Antiques & MediaRecords & archives, kept by Fizzlewatt
Visit shop →
G
Glim & Glint Jewelry WorksMetalwork that gleams back at you
Visit shop →
G
Grelda’s Gear & GritTools, gear, and grievances
Visit shop →
H
Hex & Pixel ToysmithsToys & collectibles that blink first
Visit shop →
S
Scroll & Quill SuppliesStationery, minded by Inky
Visit shop →
T
The Gutbucket Deli & Dry GoodsSnacks & sundries, Grum presiding
Visit shop →
T
Thread & Dread ClothiersApparel by Madame Hiss, proprietor
Visit shop →
W
Wonk’s General GoodsA bit of everything, under Wonk’s watch
Visit shop →
V
Vault of All ThingsThe complete inventory of the absurd
Visit shop →
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