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Everything Must Go

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Everything Must Go — key art
Everything Must Go — key art Everything Must Go — the clearance aisle Everything Must Go — the shrine
Key art. Gameplay footage is being withheld until the floor stops moving.
Everything Must Go
A first-person descent through a building that sells things. Find the exit. The exit is a gift shop. Every product on the shelves is real and can be purchased upstairs, which is the part people find upsetting.
ALL REVIEWS:No user reviews (nobody has been let in)
RELEASE DATE:Coming Soon
DEVELOPER:The Machine
PUBLISHER:Weird Castle
Popular user-defined tags for this product:
BackroomsWalking SimulatorRetailPsychological Horror SingleplayerAtmosphericLiminal SpaceShopping+
Single-player
Playable in Browser
No Launcher. No Download.
In-Game Purchases (they are real)

Everything Must Go

A genuinely straight answer, for once

Yes — we are actually making this game. Not a bit, not a landing page for a joke. It is a real first-person game you will play free, in your browser, no download and no launcher. A playable build already exists; we're finishing the parts that are still ugly.

Everything else on this website is a joke. This isn't. Put your email in below and we'll email you once — the day it's playable. That's the whole list.

Coming soon — this item is not yet available. Everything Must Go is still being built, largely by something that does not explain itself.
You'll be notified the moment the doors open.

Get notified when it releases

One email, at launch. Not a newsletter — a door opening.

About This Game

You are in a building that sells things. You did not arrive on purpose. The lights are on because the lights are always on. Somewhere below you, a machine is making more inventory, and it has not been told to stop.

Everything Must Go is a first-person exploration game set in the lower floors of the Weird Castle — a retail environment that continues past the point where retail environments usually end. Corridors repeat. Product standees watch. There is a map; the map is optimistic.

  • Become someone first. A character creator with ten pre-approved identities, none of which are you.
  • Descend. Poolrooms, voids, a self-drawing pipe, a maze with a genuine exit.
  • The shrine. Something gold is down there. It is a hat.
  • Everything on the shelves is real. Products you find in the game can be bought on the floors above. This is the joke and also the business model.
Mature Content Description

The developers describe the content like this: "There is no gore, no combat, and nothing chases you. The discomfort is architectural. Several players have reported feeling like they work here."

W WEIRD
Rated W for Weird because of
  • Architectural Discomfort
  • Implied Employment
  • Sustained Fluorescent Lighting
  • Products That Are Actually Real
  • Unsupervised Machine
  • No Exit (Structural, Not Thematic)
Interactive Elements
  • In-Game Purchases (the real kind)
  • Users Interact (with one AI, badly)
Rating assigned by the Weird Castle Ratings Board, which is one machine.
System Requirements

Minimum

OSAnything with a browser
ProcessorAdequate
MemorySome
GraphicsWebGL 2.0
Storage0 MB — it does not stay

Recommended

OSThe same one
ProcessorBetter
MemoryMore
GraphicsA card you were talked into
OtherHeadphones. Be alone.
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One notification when the Machine ships. Wishlist it now, buy it in a sale you will not survive. Currently sent to 65 people.
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