Introducing the Erectable Pendant — a bold, metallic tribute to bad decisions and big energy.

This legendary piece starts modestly… then rises to the occasion. A fully poseable pendant that stands tall when the moment calls for it. Crafted from zinc alloy and pure confidence, it’s the perfect blend of chaos, comedy, and craftsmanship.

Wear it to a date, a wedding, or a job interview (we dare you). Whether you’re gifting it to a friend or keeping it as a personal power amulet, the Erectable Pendant guarantees one thing — you’ll never go soft in style.

Details

– Adjustable, functional “hinge” for maximum comedic performance

– Zinc alloy construction with metallic finish

– Lightweight enough for daily wear or shameless flexing

– Available in silver, gold, or bronze

– Guaranteed to make HR uncomfortable

There’s self-care — and then there’s this.

The Fuck This Shit Morse Code Bracelet is a wearable meltdown in dot-and-dash form. Each bead spells out your emotional limit in secret code, so you can look composed while spiritually throwing your laptop out a window.

Elegant enough for brunch, honest enough for burnout, it’s the quietest way to say “I’m done” without losing your job or your freedom. Whether it’s for your best friend, your therapist, or your reflection, this bracelet delivers the message loud and passive-aggressive.

You’re not accessorizing.

You’re broadcasting a cry for help in Morse code.

Details

• Hidden Morse code message: FUCK THIS SHIT
• Adjustable fit — one size fits all, rage included
• Minimalist bead design, handcrafted with barely controlled fury
• Subtle enough for work, strong enough for breakdowns
• Genderless design — burnout doesn’t discriminate

Description
Your lip gloss is now legally part of an active investigation.

These novelty zipper pouches look like official police evidence bags — minus the forensics, plus a little unhinged flair. Perfect for makeup, keys, receipts, or secrets you’ll deny under oath.

Features

• 🧬 Set of 4 pouches, all equally incriminating

• 🪶 Durable, waterproof linen (to contain fluids and suspicions)

• 📏 9.8" × 7.1" — fits in most glove compartments and escape plans

• 🧼 Easy to clean, but hard to explain

• Ideal for true crime lovers, coworkers who overshare, or sketchy relatives

Specifications

• Product Type: Novelty zipper pouch set

• Material: Linen blend, waterproof coating

• Size: 9.8" × 7.1" (per bag)

• Quantity: 4 bags per set

• Closure: Secure zipper

• Care: Wipe clean only