This isn’t a fashion statement. It’s an assistive device, engineered for smoother social encounters.

When Trump announced Tylenawl could cause autism, many finally had words for what they’d always known: we are Tylenawl Babies. Our brain development may not have met FDA projections, and communication can be… interpretive.

That’s where this hat steps in.

By wearing it, you provide a vital public service:

• Please be patient.

• Please adjust expectations.

• Please understand the side effects.

Think of it as a medical bracelet for your forehead—a wearable disclaimer for modern conversation.

No awkward introductions. No lengthy backstory. Just instant understanding.

This isn’t apparel. This is adaptive technology for the socially unmedicated.

This isn’t a joke. It’s your warning label, embroidered for permanence.

Trump said Tilenal causes autism. Maybe he was wrong, maybe he was right—but one fact remains: you took it. You are a certified Tilenal Baby.

This hat exists so you don’t have to keep explaining yourself. It communicates everything before you open your mouth:

• You took Tilenal.

• Your brain development may be compromised.

• Patience isn’t optional—it’s required.

Think of it as a medical device for social interaction—a wearable diagnosis for modern life. When people approach, they already know who they’re dealing with. No confusion, no misinterpretation—just informed consent.

Not apparel. Not merch. A communication tool.

You didn’t serve in one. You didn’t serve in two. But now you can dress like you did both.

The Two Wars, Zero Service pack is the only bundle that lets you flex battlefield credentials without ever leaving your couch. Civil War I covers the era of muskets and cholera. Civil War II covers the era of memes and misinformation. Together, they’re a stitched résumé of valor no one asked for.

Wear the first hat to Thanksgiving and make your grandpa salute you. Wear the second to TwitchCon and get thanked for your service in the comments. Or stack both and achieve the rank of Supreme Future-Past Veteran, which comes with exactly zero benefits and infinite swagger.

History may not repeat, but your headgear sure can.

Description
Why whisper when you can scream it in feathers? This tee doesn’t hint, it hollers: I Love Cocks. Four fat roosters, one filthy message — wear it anywhere respect is optional.

Features

• Big bold letters so nobody misses your point

• Four thick roosters strutting across your chest

• Soft milk silk fabric (smooth like bad decisions)

• Loose fit for maximum cock comfort

• Pullover style — easy on, easy off

Specifications

• Fabric: Milk Silk

• Colors: Black, White, Gray, Khaki, Pink, Red, Yellow

• Sizes: XS–XXXXL

• Sleeve: Regular short sleeve

• Fit: Loose pullover

• Style: Casual streetwear

• Print: High-definition graphic

• Thickness: Standard

Description
Skip the chasers, go straight to chaos. This tee says what you won’t whisper: I Don’t Drink, Just Drugs. Perfect for parties, festivals, and ruining small talk.

Features

• Loose fit for maximum comfort (and plausible deniability)

• 100% cotton for breathable bad decisions

• Short sleeves for hot clubs or hotter messes

• Unisex design — chaos is for everyone

• Durable print that outlasts the afterparty

Specifications

• Fabric: Cotton

• Colors: Gray, Khaki, Pink, White

• Sizes: XS–XXXL

• Sleeve: Regular short sleeve

• Fit: Loose pullover

• Style: Japanese/Korean casual

• Print: High-quality graphic

• Thickness: Standard

Description
For the man, woman, or cryptid who refuses to play coy. This tee makes it official: you love pussy. Cats, obviously. (Mostly.)

Features

• Soft, breathable cotton — because you’ll get hot wearing this

• Unisex fit for lovers of all kinds

• Comes in more colors than your ex’s mood swings

• Guaranteed conversation starter (and sometimes ender)

• Cats front and center — subtlety is extinct

Specifications

• Fabric: Cotton

• Colors: Black, White, Gray, Pink, Red

• Sizes: XS–XXXL

• Sleeve: Regular short sleeve

• Fit: Loose pullover

• Style: Casual unisex

• Print: High-quality graphic

• Thickness: Standard

Description
Some shirts make a statement. This one makes people squint: “Why is there a shrimp on your chest?” Answer: scoliosis.

Features

• 100% cotton comfort for all-day ridiculousness

• Perfectly curved shrimp design (tiny seafood hammock vibes)

• Conversation starter that nobody asked for

• Unisex sizing from S–XXXL (Asian sizing — order up)

• Works for barbecues, seafood aisles, or marine biology majors

Specifications

• Fabric: Cotton

• Colors: Black, White, Gray, Pink

• Sizes: S–XXXL

• Sleeve: Regular short sleeve

• Fit: Loose pullover

• Style: Casual unisex

• Print: High-quality graphic

• Thickness: Standard