Description
You’re not just a guy. You’re not just a man. You’re Daddy — and this hat makes sure the room knows it before you open your mouth.

Features

• Clean embroidery that announces authority from across the bar

• 100% cotton for maximum comfort while holding court

• Adjustable strap for a fit that flatters ego or genetics

• Available in black, white, or pink — your aura chooses the color

• Perfect for brunch, courtside flexing, or the cookout where your ex shows up with her “boyfriend”

Specifications

• Material: Cotton

• Colors: Black, White, Pink

• Sizes: Adjustable (one size fits most)

• Fit: Classic dad hat

• Style: Streetwear / novelty

• Embroidery: Premium stitching

Description
You’ve done your time — just not in this timeline. The Civil War Veteran Tee honors a war no one alive remembers but everyone still argues about. With bold crossed muskets on the front, “Civil War Veteran” + “Proudly Served” on the back, and enough irony to last another century of family feuds, it’s a uniform for the historically unhinged.

Features

• 100% brushed polyester – silky, breathable, battle-ready

• Lightweight comfort (5.16 oz/yd²) – won’t weigh you down like cannon fire

• Fade & shrink resistant – unlike history textbooks

• Expert cut & sew construction – made for imaginary honor

• Inside collar print – no itchy tags, no deserters

• Seam thread auto-matched to design

• Weird Castle insignia on back hem + sleeve logo

Specifications

• Product Type: Unisex T-shirt

• Material: 100% brushed polyester

• Weight: 5.16 oz/yd² (175 g/m²)

• Fit: Regular

• Sizes: S–3XL (select at checkout)

• Care: Machine wash cold, tumble dry low

• Origin: Assembled in the USA from globally sourced parts

Description
Shopping for someone unhinged but lovable? Skip the guesswork. A Weird Castle Gift Card is the skeleton key to cursed hats, stickers with issues, and regrets disguised as apparel.

Features

• Available in multiple denominations

• Delivered instantly by email

• Includes easy redemption instructions

• No extra processing fees

• Never expires (unlike our patience)

Specifications

• Type: Digital gift card

• Delivery: Instant email

• Denominations: Multiple values available

• Expiration: None

• Redemption: Online at Weird Castle

• Fees: Zero, zilch, nada

Description
What do you call a skeleton with impeccable manners and a roll of toilet paper? A knight in shining Charmin. This vintage tin sign turns your bathroom into a medieval throne room where dignity and dumps collide.

Features

• Skeletal servant hoisting a royal toilet scroll

• 12" × 8" of glorious, knightly bathroom décor

• Pre-drilled holes for easy hanging (not stabbing)

• Rustic, water-resistant, and slightly unholy finish

• Perfect for noble dumps, sarcastic guests, and medieval makeovers

Specifications

• Material: Metal tin

• Size: 12" × 8"

• Finish: Rustic, water-resistant print

• Mounting: Pre-drilled holes

• Style: Vintage humor / medieval décor

• Room Compatibility: Bathroom, powder room, castle dungeon

Description
Say it loud without saying a word. The Big Fan Magnet is retro pun energy in a 3×3 square — part fridge décor, part flattery, part vintage appliance worship.

Features

• Old-school desk fan design with punny charm

• Glossy finish, strong magnetic grip, stronger message

• 3×3 inches of full-color praise

• Holds photos, notes, or mom’s leftover reminders

• Perfect for friends, mentors, or anyone with a fan club

Specifications

• Material: Glossy magnetic vinyl

• Size: 3×3 in.

• Finish: Full-color, durable print

• Use: Fridge, locker, or breakroom microwave

• Origin: Made in USA

• Style: Retro novelty / pun décor

Description
We don’t know what he did. We don’t know why. But this little red guy finally snapped during Q3 planning — and now he’s lying face-down, holding your pen like a true office martyr.

Features

• Holds one (1) standard pen, one (1) grudge

• Made of PVC so you can’t be charged with anything

• Compact, durable, and uncomfortably relatable

• Zero pens included, zero remorse given

• Perfect for coworkers, mortal enemies, or corporate survivors

Specifications

• Material: PVC plastic

• Color: Blood red

• Size: Compact desktop size (fits 1 standard pen)

• Function: Pen holder / desk accessory

• Style: Dark humor / novelty office supply

• Package: 1× Pen holder (pen not included)

Description
Put your best foot forward — and make it grotesquely unforgettable. These human-foot slippers hug your soul while haunting everyone else’s. Comfort meets chaos in toe-by-toe, veiny detail.

Features

• Anatomically detailed realism (apologies in advance)

• Soft, squishy, and disturbingly comforting

• Anti-slip sole for confident weird walking

• One size fits most, especially emotionally unavailable men

• Lightweight, durable, and probably illegal in three states

Specifications

• Material: Plush fabric + anti-slip sole

• Colors: Flesh-toned realism

• Sizes: One size fits most adults

• Style: Novelty / gag footwear

• Function: Indoor slippers

• Package: 1× Pair of slippers