Description
We don’t know what’s going on here either — and that’s the point.

The AUTISM tee is peak chaos: a flaming font, a breakdancing (?) skeleton, and a layout that screams “neurodivergent energy” without asking for permission or clarification. It’s weird, proud, and aggressively unserious — just like most of us.

Perfect For

• Fans of absurdist memewear

• Unfiltered spectrum humor

• Anyone who likes their identity with a side of flaming skeletons

Details

• Fit: Unisex, spectrum-wide

• Material: Breathable polyester mesh (ironically chill)

• Print: Flaming font + dancing skeleton of questionable coordination

• Sizes: S–XXXL

• Notes: Wildly misunderstood by design, may cause public double takes

• Disclaimer: Definitely not a medically approved educational tool

Description
The Box of Absolutely Nothing is the ultimate gift for someone who has everything, wants nothing, or only deserves the bare minimum.

Inside this sleek, plastic clamshell is… nothing. No fluff. No filler. No regrets. Just a high-effort, low-effort gesture that screams, “I heard you… and I did less.”

Perfect for white elephant parties, emotionally distant coworkers, or that brother-in-law who insists, “I don’t need anything.”

Features

📦 Includes 100% pure, unfiltered, USDA-grade Nothing
♻️ Lightweight, recyclable packaging
🤯 Delivers maximum confusion, minimum responsibility
🥂 Triple-distilled for maximum pointlessness
🎁 The perfect gift for people who don’t want gifts

Specifications

Contents: Absolutely Nothing
Packaging: Plastic clamshell
Dimensions: Pocket-sized (because nothing takes up no space)
Weight: Practically zero
Age Rating: Ageless
Package Includes: A whole lotta nothing

Description
Finally — socks that scream, “I put the fun in dysfunctional democracy.” These novelty socks feature a cartoon Trump face, a shock of unruly yellow hair, and yes — a miniature comb so you can primp on the go. Loud, stretchy, and wildly unelectable.

Wear them to rallies, ironic brunches, or just to remind your ankles that democracy is fragile.

Features
🧦 One size fits most (US men’s 6–13, women’s 7+)
💇 Includes mini comb for styling Trumpy’s yarn-like hair
🧵 Soft cotton/poly/spandex blend for maximum stretch and scandal
🌬️ Breathable, bold, and bizarrely presidential
🧼 Best washed gently — the hairpiece can’t handle impeachment

Specifications
Product Type: Novelty socks
Size: One size fits most (men’s 6–13 / women’s 7+)
Material: Cotton / polyester / spandex blend + faux hair
Extras: Miniature comb included
Care: Machine wash gentle, air dry preferred

Description
Mikey’s had a long week. Now he’s rolling up — gloved hands and all. This tee captures everyone’s favorite rodent in a not-so-family-friendly moment: mid-joint, mid-roll, zero apologies.

Soft, breathable, and perfect for anyone who likes their fashion with a side of felony energy.

Features
👕 Unisex sizing from XS–3XL
⚫ Available in black (stealth stoners) & ⚪ white (bold degenerates)
😂 Guaranteed to get laughs, judgment, or both
🌿 Perfect for 4/20, house parties, or awkward family dinners
🚫 Not officially licensed. Obviously.

Specifications
Product Type: Graphic tee
Material: 100% soft cotton (pre-shrunk)
Fit: Unisex, true-to-size
Sizes: XS–3XL
Colors: Black & White
Print Method: High-quality screen print
Care: Machine wash cold, tumble dry low

Description:
The Civil War 2 Veteran: Core Edition Hat is your budget-friendly ticket to surviving America’s weirdest sequel. Same ironic salute, slimmer price tag. Whether you’re doomscrolling in the trenches of TikTok or grilling in your backyard, this hat says: “I enlisted in the comments section, and all I got was this cap.”

Affordable, adjustable, and unapologetically absurd. Future Veteran status has never been so accessible.

Features:

• 100% Cotton Twill (built cheaper than the empire it mocks)

• Structured, low-fitting crown for battlefield or basement duty

• Adjustable Velcro® closure to fit rebels, patriots, and fence-sitters alike

Description
“Sorry, Mr. President, the roof was too slippery!”

On July 13th, 2024, the Secret Service skipped securing a rooftop because of slope concerns… and we all know how that ended. The Rooftop Rookies Tee turns that blunder into wearable satire — soft cotton, sharp humor, and the kind of disbelief you can’t wash out.

Features

• Comfort Colors 1717 tee – 100% ring-spun US cotton

• Medium weight (6.1 oz/yd²) – breathable, slope-proof durability

• Relaxed fit & crew neckline – chaos casual or irony chic

• Pre-shrunk – holds shape, unlike government excuses

• Ethically grown US cotton – US Cotton Trust Protocol certified

Specifications

• Product Type: Unisex T-shirt

• Material: 100% ring-spun US cotton

• Weight: 6.1 oz/yd² (medium weight)

• Fit: Relaxed, crew neck

• Sizes: S–3XL (select at checkout)

• Care: Machine wash cold, tumble dry low