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Finally, a onesie with confidence issues in the right direction.
The If You Think I’m a Stud You Should See My Uncle Bodysuit is the perfect gift for that uncle who makes everything about himself — now featuring your baby as the billboard. Soft, breathable, and wildly inappropriate for church photos, it’s guaranteed to make family gatherings weird again.
Perfect for baby showers, gender reveals, or causing drama at Thanksgiving. Because why settle for “cute” when your baby can be a full-blown family inside joke?
Details
- 100% cotton blend – softer than the uncle’s pickup lines
- Snap closure – because diaper changes shouldn’t require an engineering degree
- Bold white text – impossible to ignore, just like your uncle
- Unisex fit for all babies born with main character energy
- Machine washable – unlike your conscience after gifting this
Description
Finally — a cure for chronic jackassery.
JackAsspirin™ is your go-to behavioral neutralizer for the loudest, rudest, most interruptive menaces in your life. It looks like the real deal, but the only side effect is uncontrollable laughter (and maybe some broken friendships).
Features
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💊 Fake prescription pill box designed for maximum believability and minimum tolerance
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🛍️ Includes pharmacy-style bag so it feels legit
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🔁 Re-giftable — fill it with candy, cash, insults, or regrets
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🎭 Perfect gag gift for birthdays, office parties, and interventions no one asked for
Provides “Effective” Relief From
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▸ Serial Snarkiness
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▸ Chronic Interruptitis
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▸ Unwarranted Bravado
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▸ Excessive Loudness
Specifications
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Product Type: Gag gift box set
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Includes: 1 empty pill-style box + 1 pharmacy-style bag
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Materials: Printed cardboard box, paper bag
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Dimensions: Box approx. 4.5" × 2.5" × 1.5"
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Not for actual medical use (unless laughter counts as therapy)
He turned water into wine. He rose on the third day. And now… He’s absolutely dripping with charisma. The Son of God has entered His Rizz Era, and this shirt is your official notice. Featuring five immaculate Jesuses (Jesi?) locked, loaded, and ready to bless your timeline. Wear it to church, brunch, or while ghosting your situationship on Easter Sunday.
Details
• Premium cotton, holy enough for miracles
• Printed with rizzurrection-grade graphics
• Machine washable but spiritually indestructible
• Not officially endorsed by Heaven, but vibes suggest otherwise
Wrap your love in a jar and give him something to think about for the rest of his therapy sessions.
This disturbingly clinical container of liquid-less mystery comes in a premium “I hate myself” gift box, complete with wipes (because of course it does).
The JIZZ JAR™ is the last thing anyone wants and somehow exactly what they deserve.
Give it to your boyfriend. Give it to your dad. Give it to your boss if you’re trying to get fired creatively.
Details
– 14 FL. OZ. jar of emotional scarring
– Includes “bonus” wipes you’ll never emotionally recover from
– Packaged in a classy gift box designed to get you disinvited from Thanksgiving
– Non-toxic. Probably.
– Proudly made for degenerates
It’s a Korok. It’s a backpack. It’s your AirPods case.
This silicone buddy is inspired by your favorite little forest freeloaders — except this one protects your expensive tech instead of yelling “Yahaha!” and giving you a rock. Comes with a keychain clip and an attitude of gentle confusion.
Details
– Compatible with AirPods 4
– Korok-style cartoon backpack design
– Silicone body with snug fit and full protection
– Includes carabiner for keychains, bags, etc.
– Perfect for gamers, wanderers, and the weird
Because nothing says “responsible adult” like carrying your earbuds in a box of Kraft. This cheesy little case is shaped like a mini tub of your childhood comfort food, complete with noodle graphics, a lid, and regret. Protects your AirPods 3rd Gen and your soul from growing up too fast.
Details
– Fits AirPods 3rd Gen
– Food-grade silicone (don’t eat it tho)
– Clip attachment for bags, keys, and lunchboxes
– Looks like it belongs in a pantry, not a pocket
Finally, a sweater that screams “Christmas” and “unhinged gym bro” at the same time.
This isn’t just ugly — it’s aggressively festive. A jacked holiday cat shooting lasers from its eyes while lifting red barbells in front of a Christmas tree? That’s not a print. That’s prophecy.
Wear it loud. Wear it tight.
And don’t skip chest day.
Details
- Full 3D sublimation print – zero chill, full visual assault
- Laser eyes. Barbell. Gifts. Trees. Chaos.
- Polyester/spandex blend – stretchy enough for gains, soft enough for naps
- Crewneck, long sleeve, unisex fit
- Ideal for ugly sweater contests, Christmas raves, or starting fights at Kohl’s
- Can and will distract children and powerlifters alike
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