This shirt promotes proper tongue posture and discourages weakness.

Mewing is real. Meowing is a distraction.

Lock in. Eyes forward. Chin up. Shirt on.

Features an unverified image of the most disciplined cat on the internet.

He hasn’t meowed since 2017.

Details:

• Fabric: cotton + lightning

• Fit: psychologically tight

• Sizes: S–3XL (jawlines develop at different rates)

• Colors: black, white, or power

• Suitable for: silent men, ascended cats, orthodontists

The king has arrived — and he’s flipping you off.

This Middle Finger Duck Statue is a resin masterpiece for anyone who’s done pretending to be professional. With his gold crown, aviator shades, and unapologetic attitude, this duck doesn’t give a quack about your deadlines or meetings.

Place him on your desk, kitchen counter, or anywhere that could use a little anarchy and avian disrespect. He’s the perfect reminder that sometimes, the only answer is the bird.

Details

– Handcrafted from durable resin (he’ll outlive your will to work)

– Includes crown, sunglasses, and chains — because humility is overrated

– Stands proudly at ~6 inches tall (ego much larger)

– Perfect for home offices, bedrooms, or anywhere that needs less peace and more attitude

– Wipes clean with your tears of burnout

Description
Mikey’s had a long week. Now he’s rolling up — gloved hands and all. This tee captures everyone’s favorite rodent in a not-so-family-friendly moment: mid-joint, mid-roll, zero apologies.

Soft, breathable, and perfect for anyone who likes their fashion with a side of felony energy.

Features
👕 Unisex sizing from XS–3XL
⚫ Available in black (stealth stoners) & ⚪ white (bold degenerates)
😂 Guaranteed to get laughs, judgment, or both
🌿 Perfect for 4/20, house parties, or awkward family dinners
🚫 Not officially licensed. Obviously.

Specifications
Product Type: Graphic tee
Material: 100% soft cotton (pre-shrunk)
Fit: Unisex, true-to-size
Sizes: XS–3XL
Colors: Black & White
Print Method: High-quality screen print
Care: Machine wash cold, tumble dry low

This hat doesn’t whisper. It moans.

The Milk Me Daddy Trucker Hat is a bold mix of soft pink innocence and complete social collapse. Perfect for grocery runs, first dates, and making your therapist’s job harder.

Lightweight, breathable, and impossible to defend in conversation — it’s everything a Weird Castle classic should be: funny, cursed, and slightly threatening.

Details

– Mesh back for maximum airflow (and side-eye)

– Adjustable snap for shame-free fit

– Professionally printed for peak discomfort

– Ideal for festivals, frat houses, or farmers with boundary issues

– Unisex, unfortunately

Have you seen him?

A tribute to the guy we all low-key miss:

Old Kanye. Pre-Zara Kanye.

Before the album rollouts had NDAs and religious disclaimers.

This embroidered milk carton patch pulls a full emotional Amber Alert on your forehead.

• Adjustable fit for all conspiracy heads

• Thick embroidered design so crisp it might get sampled

• Polyester blend with structured dome crown, Yeezus-approved

• May or may not summon Graduation energy in the right lighting

Wear it as a cry for help, a signal to the culture, or just because your Spotify Wrapped had “Can’t Tell Me Nothing” in it again.

For every cat mom who’s one emotional breakdown away from declaring herself queen of the living room.

The Mother of Cats T-Shirt is a purr-fect mix of fantasy fandom and feral reality — ideal for anyone who rules over their feline kingdom with equal parts love and fear. Made for lounging, shedding, and dramatically whispering “bend the knee” to your pets.

Soft, casual, and destined to be covered in cat hair within seconds of wearing it.

Details

– 100% polyester (cat hair resistant… kind of)

– Classic round neck fit, easy to pair with jeans or judgment

– Available in black, white, and grey

– Sizes S–XXL

– Lightweight and breathable for year-round rule over your kingdom

For when you're this close to snapping.

This lavender-scented candle smells like the only thing holding you together. Burn it before you burn bridges. Makes a great passive-aggressive gift for friends, exes, coworkers, or just yourself.

Details

– 3.6oz soy wax

– lavender scent (calms rage… kinda)

– glass jar with “my last nerve – oh look, it’s on fire” label

– slow burn, fast mood shift

– ideal for desks, bathrooms, or emotionally unstable environments