Description
You didn’t choose the champion life — the champion life mistook you for someone important and now you’re wearing this belt bag.

Styled like a championship wrestling belt, this glorious fanny pack lets you carry your ego and your chapstick. It screams “undefeated in recreational arguing” and “two-time local karaoke finalist.”

Features

• 🏆 Two zippered compartments to store snacks, dreams, or bail money

• 🏃♂️ Adjustable waistband for winners of all waist classes

• 🌧️ Waterproof-ish — because champs don’t cancel for rain

• 🦅 Decorated with a winged eagle, a globe, and enough gold detailing to confuse TSA

• Perfect for fantasy league royalty, office gladiators, or uncles who think bowling counts

Specifications

• Product Type: Novelty belt bag / fanny pack

• Material: Faux leather + metallic foil detailing

• Compartments: 2 zippered pouches

• Strap: Adjustable, one size fits most

• Weight: Lightweight but heavy on flex

• Care: Spot clean only — legends don’t machine wash

Five stars. No notes.

The Would Poop Here Again Sign is the highest form of bathroom praise — a rustic, handmade wall plaque that perfectly captures the human condition. Equal parts cozy farmhouse charm and toilet humor, it’s ideal for guest bathrooms, Airbnbs, and anyone who treats bowel movements like Yelp reviews.

Classy enough to fit modern decor, funny enough to make people question your sanity.

Details

– 7” x 7” wooden frame, rustic finish

– Pre-installed hanging slot for easy setup

– Neutral color tones for any bathroom aesthetic

– Perfect for housewarmings, Airbnbs, or revenge gifts

– Guaranteed to get a laugh (or a confused stare)

The planet’s most chaotic panda has entered the ring.

The WWF Wrestling Panda Tee is for those who care deeply about wildlife and folding their enemies in half. This shirt flips the wholesome nature-conservation logo into something far more feral — two pandas locked in eternal combat, proving nature really is metal.

Soft, lightweight, and a guaranteed conversation starter at bars, gyms, and family reunions where your uncle won’t stop bringing up “the good ol’ days of WWF.”

Details

– Premium cotton blend, soft yet strong enough for a body slam

– Unisex fit, perfect for pacifists and wrestlers alike

– Bold black-and-white print featuring a panda wielding a steel chair

– Machine washable — unlike your dignity after karaoke night

– Sizes: S–3XL

A powerful headpiece that says, “I may have been crocheted, but my enemies were knit-picky.”

There are hats. And then there are statements. This one says, “I own zero real dreadlocks but somehow too many opinions.” Fully loaded with chaotic neutral energy and crafted from thick yarn strands that whisper, “Don’t question it, just vibe.”

Whether you’re going to a Halloween party, infiltrating a ska concert, or just having an identity crisis at 2am, the Yarnlocked Hat is here to guide you. Comes pre-infused with incense and the energy of 10,000 unspoken debates.

Details

• one-size-fits-most cranial mysteries

• handcrafted yarn tentacles in various emotional shades

• breathable mesh structure for maximum head simmer

• wildly inauthentic

• should not be worn to Jamaica without a legal escort

The Yodeling Pickle exists because the universe ran out of ideas — and thank God for that.

Push the button and bask in the hauntingly beautiful sound of a plastic cucumber yodeling its little heart out. It’s the perfect gift for anyone who already owns everything, or for that one coworker who’s just weird enough to appreciate a sentient brine enthusiast.

Whether it’s a White Elephant party, family gathering, or moment of midlife despair, the Yodeling Pickle promises to turn confusion into laughter and laughter into regret. Batteries included. Therapy not.

Details

• Fully functional yodeling mechanism – yes, it really yodels
• Made of high-quality plastic – the kind that will outlive humanity
• Battery powered – because even chaos needs energy
• Portable pickle perfection – fits in pockets, purses, or bad decisions
• Ideal for White Elephant parties, pranks, or existential reflection

The hat you wear when words aren’t enough.

When you’ve already tried facts.

When you’ve already said, “Hey man, that’s a pyramid scheme.”

This hat is your final resort.

You put it on.

You look them in the eye.

You say nothing.

Let the hat do the work.

If they know, they know.

If they don’t… you’ve confirmed it.

DETAILS

• 100% cotton, zero Kool-Aid

• Adjustable strap: fits heads swollen with denial

• Bright red: legally distinct from that one other hat

• Engineered for family barbecues, Facebook arguments, and group chats you’ll be removed from

• Ships in a plain box. For safety.

Description
What do you call a skeleton with impeccable manners and a roll of toilet paper? A knight in shining Charmin. This vintage tin sign turns your bathroom into a medieval throne room where dignity and dumps collide.

Features

• Skeletal servant hoisting a royal toilet scroll

• 12" × 8" of glorious, knightly bathroom décor

• Pre-drilled holes for easy hanging (not stabbing)

• Rustic, water-resistant, and slightly unholy finish

• Perfect for noble dumps, sarcastic guests, and medieval makeovers

Specifications

• Material: Metal tin

• Size: 12" × 8"

• Finish: Rustic, water-resistant print

• Mounting: Pre-drilled holes

• Style: Vintage humor / medieval décor

• Room Compatibility: Bathroom, powder room, castle dungeon