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Description
You’re not just a guy. You’re not just a man. You’re Daddy — and this hat makes sure the room knows it before you open your mouth.
Features
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Clean embroidery that announces authority from across the bar
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100% cotton for maximum comfort while holding court
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Adjustable strap for a fit that flatters ego or genetics
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Available in black, white, or pink — your aura chooses the color
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Perfect for brunch, courtside flexing, or the cookout where your ex shows up with her “boyfriend”
Specifications
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Material: Cotton
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Colors: Black, White, Pink
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Sizes: Adjustable (one size fits most)
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Fit: Classic dad hat
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Style: Streetwear / novelty
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Embroidery: Premium stitching
Being a dad is hard. Drinking whiskey out of a glass that says “Daddy’s Sippy Cup” makes it slightly less hard. This deluxe gift set includes whiskey stones, a wood box, and dad jokes you can feel with your hands.
Perfect for first-time dads, birthday roasts, Father’s Day flexes, or just letting everyone know who’s definitely not in charge of bedtime tonight.
Details
– 1 etched “Daddy’s Sippy Cup” whiskey glass
– 3 whiskey stones to keep the dad fuel cold
– Comes in a wooden box worthy of generational trauma
– Includes coasters with dad-tier advice
– Guaranteed to improve your child’s respect by 0.0003%
Description
We don’t know what he did. We don’t know why. But this little red guy finally snapped during Q3 planning — and now he’s lying face-down, holding your pen like a true office martyr.
Features
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Holds one (1) standard pen, one (1) grudge
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Made of PVC so you can’t be charged with anything
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Compact, durable, and uncomfortably relatable
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Zero pens included, zero remorse given
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Perfect for coworkers, mortal enemies, or corporate survivors
Specifications
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Material: PVC plastic
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Color: Blood red
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Size: Compact desktop size (fits 1 standard pen)
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Function: Pen holder / desk accessory
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Style: Dark humor / novelty office supply
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Package: 1× Pen holder (pen not included)
Dehydrated Water – Premium Zero-Calorie H₂-No Gag Gift for the Chronically Confused
$35.00
Unit price perDehydrated Water – Premium Zero-Calorie H₂-No Gag Gift for the Chronically Confused
$35.00
Unit price perIntroducing the most revolutionary drink you’ll never drink.
Dehydrated Water is the world’s purest form of nothing — harvested from the imaginary glaciers of nowhere and sealed fresh in a metal can for your convenience. Just add water… not included (obviously).
Perfect for anyone who takes themselves too seriously, this can of air-adjacent hydration makes a hilarious stocking stuffer, office white-elephant gift, or minimalist survival kit. Warning: may cause confusion, laughter, and existential dread.
Whether you’re an athlete, a prepper, or just dehydrated emotionally — this is your new favorite beverage substitute.
Details
- 100% Organic, Vegan, Gluten-Free Nothing
- 0 Calories, 0 Sugar, 0 Everything
- World’s Lightest Drink™ – weighs less than your motivation
- Never expires – because there’s nothing to expire
- Perfect for parties, office desks, and people you secretly hate
Slip your AirPods into something a little more caffeinated. This soft silicone Mountain Dew bottle case protects your buds while screaming I peaked in Xbox Live chat rooms. Comes with a keychain clip for easy access during tactical reloads or late-night Taco Bell runs.
Details
– Compatible with AirPods 2 & 1
– Detachable carabiner included
– Shockproof, dustproof, and mom-proof
– Silicone shell with realistic Dew bottle detailing
– AirPods not included. Shame on you for even thinking that.
Embroidery loud. Ambition low. The Do Nothing Club Hat is your official uniform for giving up—in style. Featuring blood-red lettering and a lonely palm tree that screams “I’m emotionally on vacation,” this hat is ideal for beach bums, burnout victims, fake retirees, and anyone who’s simply out of spoons.
Sun-shading? Yes. Life-affirming? Maybe. Productivity-enhancing? Absolutely not.
Join the club. Or don’t. We literally don’t care.
Details
• 100% cotton, breathable and judgment-free
• Machine embroidery, so the laziness lasts forever
• Adjustable strap – one size fits all who’ve given up
• Available in black, khaki, or white (if you’re feeling ironic)
• Ideal for vacations, mental breakdowns, and slow walks to nowhere
Your hate is my foreplay.
This hat isn’t for the likable. It’s for the dangerously radiant. The walking eye-roll. The main character who shows up late and somehow still wins. If you’re the kind of person who gets blocked before they even follow back — this hat’s your halo.
Because if they’re mad, you’re doing it right.
Details
- Bold black text on a white foam front – confrontational, clean
- Yellow mesh trucker build – blinding, like your aura
- Curved brim – for throwing shade in all directions
- Adjustable snapback – one size fits all the delusional
- Breathable structure – so you don’t sweat their feelings
- Comes fully loaded with main character syndrome
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