Description
You’re not just a guy. You’re not just a man. You’re Daddy — and this hat makes sure the room knows it before you open your mouth.

Features

• Clean embroidery that announces authority from across the bar

• 100% cotton for maximum comfort while holding court

• Adjustable strap for a fit that flatters ego or genetics

• Available in black, white, or pink — your aura chooses the color

• Perfect for brunch, courtside flexing, or the cookout where your ex shows up with her “boyfriend”

Specifications

• Material: Cotton

• Colors: Black, White, Pink

• Sizes: Adjustable (one size fits most)

• Fit: Classic dad hat

• Style: Streetwear / novelty

• Embroidery: Premium stitching

Being a dad is hard. Drinking whiskey out of a glass that says “Daddy’s Sippy Cup” makes it slightly less hard. This deluxe gift set includes whiskey stones, a wood box, and dad jokes you can feel with your hands.

Perfect for first-time dads, birthday roasts, Father’s Day flexes, or just letting everyone know who’s definitely not in charge of bedtime tonight.

Details

– 1 etched “Daddy’s Sippy Cup” whiskey glass

– 3 whiskey stones to keep the dad fuel cold

– Comes in a wooden box worthy of generational trauma

– Includes coasters with dad-tier advice

– Guaranteed to improve your child’s respect by 0.0003%

Description
We don’t know what he did. We don’t know why. But this little red guy finally snapped during Q3 planning — and now he’s lying face-down, holding your pen like a true office martyr.

Features

• Holds one (1) standard pen, one (1) grudge

• Made of PVC so you can’t be charged with anything

• Compact, durable, and uncomfortably relatable

• Zero pens included, zero remorse given

• Perfect for coworkers, mortal enemies, or corporate survivors

Specifications

• Material: PVC plastic

• Color: Blood red

• Size: Compact desktop size (fits 1 standard pen)

• Function: Pen holder / desk accessory

• Style: Dark humor / novelty office supply

• Package: 1× Pen holder (pen not included)

Introducing the most revolutionary drink you’ll never drink.

Dehydrated Water is the world’s purest form of nothing — harvested from the imaginary glaciers of nowhere and sealed fresh in a metal can for your convenience. Just add water… not included (obviously).

Perfect for anyone who takes themselves too seriously, this can of air-adjacent hydration makes a hilarious stocking stuffer, office white-elephant gift, or minimalist survival kit. Warning: may cause confusion, laughter, and existential dread.

Whether you’re an athlete, a prepper, or just dehydrated emotionally — this is your new favorite beverage substitute.

Details

• 100% Organic, Vegan, Gluten-Free Nothing
• 0 Calories, 0 Sugar, 0 Everything
• World’s Lightest Drink™ – weighs less than your motivation
• Never expires – because there’s nothing to expire
• Perfect for parties, office desks, and people you secretly hate

Slip your AirPods into something a little more caffeinated. This soft silicone Mountain Dew bottle case protects your buds while screaming I peaked in Xbox Live chat rooms. Comes with a keychain clip for easy access during tactical reloads or late-night Taco Bell runs.

Details

– Compatible with AirPods 2 & 1

– Detachable carabiner included

– Shockproof, dustproof, and mom-proof

– Silicone shell with realistic Dew bottle detailing

– AirPods not included. Shame on you for even thinking that.

Embroidery loud. Ambition low. The Do Nothing Club Hat is your official uniform for giving up—in style. Featuring blood-red lettering and a lonely palm tree that screams “I’m emotionally on vacation,” this hat is ideal for beach bums, burnout victims, fake retirees, and anyone who’s simply out of spoons.

Sun-shading? Yes. Life-affirming? Maybe. Productivity-enhancing? Absolutely not.

Join the club. Or don’t. We literally don’t care.

Details

• 100% cotton, breathable and judgment-free

• Machine embroidery, so the laziness lasts forever

• Adjustable strap – one size fits all who’ve given up

• Available in black, khaki, or white (if you’re feeling ironic)

• Ideal for vacations, mental breakdowns, and slow walks to nowhere

Your hate is my foreplay.

This hat isn’t for the likable. It’s for the dangerously radiant. The walking eye-roll. The main character who shows up late and somehow still wins. If you’re the kind of person who gets blocked before they even follow back — this hat’s your halo.

Because if they’re mad, you’re doing it right.

Details

• Bold black text on a white foam front – confrontational, clean
• Yellow mesh trucker build – blinding, like your aura
• Curved brim – for throwing shade in all directions
• Adjustable snapback – one size fits all the delusional
• Breathable structure – so you don’t sweat their feelings
• Comes fully loaded with main character syndrome