A clean little nod to your favorite flavor of chemical self-care. This hat features an embroidered double cup tipped just enough to let the purple leak out — one drip for the homies. Pairs well with late night texts you shouldn’t send and Spotify playlists titled “sippin & thinkin.”

Details :

• Embroidered front graphic of a double cup pouring purple

• Color options: black or white

• Adjustable strapback closure

• Unstructured, low-profile fit

• One size fits most heads (even the ones full of bad decisions)

• Fabric: Breathable cotton blend

• Season: All (especially nighttime)

Two hoods. One questionable idea.

Introducing the Double Hoodie – Relationship Survival Suit, a cozy experiment in trust, patience, and shared body heat. Made for couples who claim they never fight, this hoodie forces you to prove it.

Perfect for movie nights, passive-aggressive Netflix selections, and discovering that your partner breathes way too loud.

Soft flannel on the outside, quiet resentment on the inside.

Details

– Fits two adults comfortably, assuming you still like each other

– Plush popcorn-print fleece for premium “we’ve given up” energy

– Double hood and front pocket for snacks, phones, and emotional baggage

– Machine washable, but your relationship might not be

– Great anniversary gift for couples who peaked during quarantine

For the reckless, the shameless, and the spiritually totaled.

The Drive Fast Eat Ass Trucker Hat is a philosophy, not an accessory. Born from burnout smoke and bad decisions, this hat doesn’t just complete an outfit — it completes a personality disorder.

Made with breathable mesh and bold typography that screams “I peaked in a parking lot,” it’s perfect for track days, Tinder dates, or your next court appearance.

Details

– Adjustable mesh back for highway-grade airflow

– Durable polyester front panel for lasting shame

– Bold, unapologetic print that doubles as a life motto

– Lightweight design for all-day degeneracy

– One size fits all outlaws

Ever looked down at your feet and thought, “These could be funnier”?

Introducing Duck Feet Socks — the unholy blend of comfort and chaos. These 3D-printed socks turn your legs into full-blown webbed nightmares. Perfect for white elephant exchanges, gag gifts, or just confusing people at the grocery store.

Slide into a pair and instantly waddle your way into legend.

Details

– Fits most adult feet (men’s up to size 11)

– 80% polyester, 10% cotton, 10% spandex — stretchier than your excuses

– Realistic 3D duck leg print (hauntingly accurate)

– Machine washable (unlike actual ducks)

– Ideal for parties, gifts, or just ruining serious moments

Description
These aren’t just bandages. They’re lessons.

For klutzes, contractors, and coworkers who really should’ve known better, Dumbass Bandages turn every oops into an opportunity to publicly acknowledge your poor decision-making. Individually wrapped, latex-free, and hilariously sterile — just like your love life.

Slap one on a paper cut. A skinned knee. A broken ego.
Then carry on like the champ you aren’t.

Features

• 20-pack of latex-free bandages

• Individually wrapped for maximum shame

• Sterile, waterproof, and regret-proof

• Fits fingers, knees, and fragile egos

Details

• Size: Standard assorted cuts

• Packaging: Box labeled loud enough to embarrass you

• Material: Non-woven fabric + adhesive reality check

The perfect shirt for anyone who thinks “good morning” is a threat.

This tee isn’t just a joke — it’s a lawsuit waiting to happen. Modeled after America’s favorite donut empire, but with way more hostility, this logo ripoff is equal parts legal gray area and middle school cafeteria energy.

Pairs best with iced coffee, side-eye, and zero shame.

Details

• Printed parody logo – aggressively stupid in the best way
• 100% cotton – soft enough for sleeping, disrespectful enough for brunch
• Unisex fit – works for him, her, and whoever’s yelling “GOT EEM” in the parking lot
• Pullover crewneck style – no effort, maximum effect
• Available in white or black – choose your flavor of chaos
• Ideal for group chats, failed job interviews, and first dates that go too well

Description
For the sinner on a schedule. Every cigarette drags you 11 minutes closer to the pearly gates — or straight past them, coughing in style.

Features

• 100% cotton (won’t melt if you descend the other way)

• Loose fit for optimal lung expansion (or collapse)

• Conversation starter… and ender

• Perfect gag gift for quitters, smokers, or holy rollers

• Works as a warning, punchline, or spiritual icebreaker

Specifications

• Fabric: Cotton

• Colors: Black, White, Gray

• Sizes: XS–XXXL

• Sleeve: Regular short sleeve

• Fit: Loose pullover

• Style: Casual unisex

• Print: High-quality graphic

• Thickness: Standard