Introducing the Erectable Pendant — a bold, metallic tribute to bad decisions and big energy.

This legendary piece starts modestly… then rises to the occasion. A fully poseable pendant that stands tall when the moment calls for it. Crafted from zinc alloy and pure confidence, it’s the perfect blend of chaos, comedy, and craftsmanship.

Wear it to a date, a wedding, or a job interview (we dare you). Whether you’re gifting it to a friend or keeping it as a personal power amulet, the Erectable Pendant guarantees one thing — you’ll never go soft in style.

Details

– Adjustable, functional “hinge” for maximum comedic performance

– Zinc alloy construction with metallic finish

– Lightweight enough for daily wear or shameless flexing

– Available in silver, gold, or bronze

– Guaranteed to make HR uncomfortable

For the confident baby who knows their limits.

The Feelin’ Cute Might Shit Myself Later bodysuit is an adorable (and brutally honest) outfit for your little ticking time bomb. It’s soft, breathable, and designed for parents who’ve accepted that style and chaos can coexist.

Perfect for baby showers, photoshoots, or any time you want to warn loved ones what’s coming next.

Details

– 100% cotton comfort for sensitive skin and bold statements

– Three-snap bottom for fast disaster response

– Long sleeve for warmth and drama

– High-quality print that survives endless blowouts

– Ideal gag gift for new parents or the dangerously sleep-deprived

Some people have degrees. You have certification.

The Forklift Certified Trucker Hat is for anyone who’s ever moved a pallet, crushed a Monster, and said “I got this” before a minor incident. Designed for legends of the loading dock and champions of the warehouse flirt.

Bright orange mesh keeps your head cool while the bold black text lets everyone know you’re professionally unhinged — and possibly a liability.

Details

– Adjustable mesh back for that “ventilated confidence” feel

– Embroidered text: FORKLIFT CERTIFIED (no questions asked)

– Lightweight polyester: durable, breathable, and beer-proof

– OSHA-approved for fashion, not behavior

– Looks best paired with steel-toe boots and bad decisions

Two plush frogs, both deeply disappointed in your lifestyle, are now here to help you rest. These soft, cotton-lined blindfolds block out light, guilt, and your screen addiction so you can nap like an emotionally exhausted woodland creature.

Perfect for flights, breakups, and pretending you're okay.

Details

– 2 frog masks included (double the sadness)

– Soft cotton inside, fuzzy plush outside

– Blocks light, expectations, and bad vibes

– Fits adults, kids, and emotionally stunted man-children

– Machine washable, regret-proof

There’s self-care — and then there’s this.

The Fuck This Shit Morse Code Bracelet is a wearable meltdown in dot-and-dash form. Each bead spells out your emotional limit in secret code, so you can look composed while spiritually throwing your laptop out a window.

Elegant enough for brunch, honest enough for burnout, it’s the quietest way to say “I’m done” without losing your job or your freedom. Whether it’s for your best friend, your therapist, or your reflection, this bracelet delivers the message loud and passive-aggressive.

You’re not accessorizing.

You’re broadcasting a cry for help in Morse code.

Details

• Hidden Morse code message: FUCK THIS SHIT
• Adjustable fit — one size fits all, rage included
• Minimalist bead design, handcrafted with barely controlled fury
• Subtle enough for work, strong enough for breakdowns
• Genderless design — burnout doesn’t discriminate

Introducing the official hat of rock bottoms and Saturday nights.

The Will Shake Ass for Tequila Trucker Hat is for the brave, the unhinged, and anyone who’s ever said “I don’t even like tequila” right before taking five shots. It’s lightweight, breathable, and guaranteed to make your family question your life choices.

Perfect for parties, bar crawls, and weddings you weren’t technically invited to.

Details

– Adjustable mesh back for maximum airflow (and regret)

– Black-and-white colorway that goes with any moral downfall

– Bold block lettering that screams “please film me doing this”

– Durable polyester that’ll survive both hangovers and heartbreaks

– Hand-wash only, because tequila stains are forever

You didn’t play.

You endured.

This isn’t a hat — it’s a Purple Heart for your thumbs. If your childhood smelled like dusty cartridges and betrayal, you’ve already earned this mesh-backed monument to your digital valor.

The logo? It’s not just buttons. It’s the last thing your cousin saw before you made him rage quit forever.

For those who remember the cheat code to life: Up, Up, Down, Down, Trauma.

Details

• Embroidered front panel – stitched with gamer PTSD

• Mesh trucker back – breathable, like the console wars should’ve been

• Snapback fit – one size fits 99% of sweaty-palmed legends

• Color: Classic grey with dark mesh – neutral like your kill/death ratio

• Not available at GameStop. Ever.

• Power-up not included. Trauma? Absolutely.