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For those of us running on vibes, caffeine, and a single waffle from this morning—this hat gets it.
Sleepy and Hungry. That’s the entire personality. That’s the entire mood. Embroidered in chaotic toddler crayon font so no one questions your mental bandwidth.
Wear it on a walk. Wear it to brunch. Wear it while crying in your car in the Taco Bell drive-thru. It works.
Product Details:
• ☀️ Sunshade mode: activated
• Breathable for your last 3 remaining brain cells
• Colorful embroidered letters (your hat’s louder than your coping mechanisms)
• Dome-style crown with curved bill
• Fabric: Soft-touch polyester
• Size: One size fits all (we tested on a large grapefruit and an anxious uncle)
• Unisex fit
• Available in Beige, Black, Navy, Green, Pink, and Khaki
He turned water into wine. He rose on the third day. And now… He’s absolutely dripping with charisma. The Son of God has entered His Rizz Era, and this shirt is your official notice. Featuring five immaculate Jesuses (Jesi?) locked, loaded, and ready to bless your timeline. Wear it to church, brunch, or while ghosting your situationship on Easter Sunday.
Details
• Premium cotton, holy enough for miracles
• Printed with rizzurrection-grade graphics
• Machine washable but spiritually indestructible
• Not officially endorsed by Heaven, but vibes suggest otherwise
There’s iron deficiency. There’s pica. And then there’s this. A disturbing yet somehow triumphant declaration of dietary defiance. Featuring a cat that looks like it’s either made of wood or spiritually possessed, staring directly into your soul with the confidence of someone who just ate half a bag of Super Cement™ and liked it. Do not wear this to the dentist.
Details
• Printed on premium regret-resistant cotton
• Unisex fit for the whole demolition crew
• Cement not included, but highly encouraged
• Not OSHA approved, obviously
You’re not misunderstood. You’re just mean—and we respect that. This shirt is for the brutally honest, the chronically sarcastic, and the emotionally unavailable.
Perfect for anyone who’s ever said “just kidding” with the cold dead eyes of someone who absolutely wasn’t. Printed in clinical Helvetica red so there’s no confusion. Or eye contact.
Details
• Unisex fit for maximum interpersonal damage
• 100% cotton, 0% accountability
• Small text, big warning
• Does not come with a court-ordered apology
Tax season is for snitches. This shirt is for visionaries. Inspired by your favorite purple dinosaur and your least favorite audit, the “Commit Tax Fraud” tee lets the world know you don’t play by the IRS’s rules—or any rules, really.
Bright crayon colors, cartoon nostalgia, and the kind of legal gray area we thrive in. Not legal advice. Definitely a vibe.
Details
• Unisex fit, felony energy
• 100% cotton (good for laundering… money or otherwise)
• Screen-printed design—bold, dumb, and built to last
• Comes pre-loaded with plausible deniability
This shirt tells the story of a young cub named Coca who couldn’t wait to be king.
It’s a tale of powder, power, and a complete misunderstanding of what Disney actually owns.
Features 3 elegant slashes across the front to symbolize either:
1. Claws
2. Cocaine
3. Cocaine claws
Perfect for family reunions, music festivals, and felony arraignments.
Details:
• Cotton (probably)
• Unisex, emotionally neutral
• Colors: black, white, or whatever’s left after the rave
• Sizes: S–3XL, depending on your hydration level
• Do not machine wash with real lions
This shirt promotes proper tongue posture and discourages weakness.
Mewing is real. Meowing is a distraction.
Lock in. Eyes forward. Chin up. Shirt on.
Features an unverified image of the most disciplined cat on the internet.
He hasn’t meowed since 2017.
Details:
• Fabric: cotton + lightning
• Fit: psychologically tight
• Sizes: S–3XL (jawlines develop at different rates)
• Colors: black, white, or power
• Suitable for: silent men, ascended cats, orthodontists
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