Description
You’re not just a guy. You’re not just a man. You’re Daddy — and this hat makes sure the room knows it before you open your mouth.

Features

• Clean embroidery that announces authority from across the bar

• 100% cotton for maximum comfort while holding court

• Adjustable strap for a fit that flatters ego or genetics

• Available in black, white, or pink — your aura chooses the color

• Perfect for brunch, courtside flexing, or the cookout where your ex shows up with her “boyfriend”

Specifications

• Material: Cotton

• Colors: Black, White, Pink

• Sizes: Adjustable (one size fits most)

• Fit: Classic dad hat

• Style: Streetwear / novelty

• Embroidery: Premium stitching

Description
Shopping for someone unhinged but lovable? Skip the guesswork. A Weird Castle Gift Card is the skeleton key to cursed hats, stickers with issues, and regrets disguised as apparel.

Features

• Available in multiple denominations

• Delivered instantly by email

• Includes easy redemption instructions

• No extra processing fees

• Never expires (unlike our patience)

Specifications

• Type: Digital gift card

• Delivery: Instant email

• Denominations: Multiple values available

• Expiration: None

• Redemption: Online at Weird Castle

• Fees: Zero, zilch, nada

Description
Put your best foot forward — and make it grotesquely unforgettable. These human-foot slippers hug your soul while haunting everyone else’s. Comfort meets chaos in toe-by-toe, veiny detail.

Features

• Anatomically detailed realism (apologies in advance)

• Soft, squishy, and disturbingly comforting

• Anti-slip sole for confident weird walking

• One size fits most, especially emotionally unavailable men

• Lightweight, durable, and probably illegal in three states

Specifications

• Material: Plush fabric + anti-slip sole

• Colors: Flesh-toned realism

• Sizes: One size fits most adults

• Style: Novelty / gag footwear

• Function: Indoor slippers

• Package: 1× Pair of slippers

Description
Your lip gloss is now legally part of an active investigation.

These novelty zipper pouches look like official police evidence bags — minus the forensics, plus a little unhinged flair. Perfect for makeup, keys, receipts, or secrets you’ll deny under oath.

Features

• 🧬 Set of 4 pouches, all equally incriminating

• 🪶 Durable, waterproof linen (to contain fluids and suspicions)

• 📏 9.8" × 7.1" — fits in most glove compartments and escape plans

• 🧼 Easy to clean, but hard to explain

• Ideal for true crime lovers, coworkers who overshare, or sketchy relatives

Specifications

• Product Type: Novelty zipper pouch set

• Material: Linen blend, waterproof coating

• Size: 9.8" × 7.1" (per bag)

• Quantity: 4 bags per set

• Closure: Secure zipper

• Care: Wipe clean only

This isn’t a novelty shirt. It’s personal disclosure protocol, issued for the safety of those around you.

Trump said Tilenal causes autism. Whether that’s science or stand-up, one truth remains: you took it. And now you live to tell the tale—loudly, and in 100% cotton.

With this tee, there’s no confusion at the DMV, workplace, or family function. The message is clear, immediate, and medically unreviewed:

• You took Tilenal.

• Your brain development may have been crafted on a shoestring budget.

• Patience isn’t kindness—it’s treatment.

Think of it as a prescription label you can sweat through.
You’re not hiding. You’re broadcasting.

A powerful headpiece that says, “I may have been crocheted, but my enemies were knit-picky.”

There are hats. And then there are statements. This one says, “I own zero real dreadlocks but somehow too many opinions.” Fully loaded with chaotic neutral energy and crafted from thick yarn strands that whisper, “Don’t question it, just vibe.”

Whether you’re going to a Halloween party, infiltrating a ska concert, or just having an identity crisis at 2am, the Yarnlocked Hat is here to guide you. Comes pre-infused with incense and the energy of 10,000 unspoken debates.

Details

• one-size-fits-most cranial mysteries

• handcrafted yarn tentacles in various emotional shades

• breathable mesh structure for maximum head simmer

• wildly inauthentic

• should not be worn to Jamaica without a legal escort