These aren’t socks.

They’re an emotional meltdown for your feet.

Each toe is an opera.

Each step is a scream.

These socks are yelling because you are too polite to.

Whether you’re walking into a staff meeting, kicking open a therapist’s door, or just limping through life one existential crisis at a time—these babies do the shouting so you don’t have to.

🧦 Double-sided faces that scream in both directions

🎤 100% cotton (so you don’t actually combust)

🫢 High-stretch guilt containment (results may vary)

💥 Height: 50cm of loud. Length: 120cm of why.

They don’t pair with outfits.

They command them.

You ever look at a cartoon mouse and think, same bro?

The Sad Mickey Tee is a haunting reflection of what happens when childhood joy meets adult burnout. Featuring a warped, emotionally damaged version of everyone’s favorite rodent, this shirt says, “I’m fine” in bold, polyester silence.

Perfect for anyone who’s seen too much, smiled too long, and still has to clock in Monday morning.

Details

– 100% polyester (because life isn’t always soft)

– Unisex fit, emotionally unisex too

– Breathable, durable, and deeply unsettling

– Machine washable, therapy not included

– Available in white, black, green, and blue

The planet’s most chaotic panda has entered the ring.

The WWF Wrestling Panda Tee is for those who care deeply about wildlife and folding their enemies in half. This shirt flips the wholesome nature-conservation logo into something far more feral — two pandas locked in eternal combat, proving nature really is metal.

Soft, lightweight, and a guaranteed conversation starter at bars, gyms, and family reunions where your uncle won’t stop bringing up “the good ol’ days of WWF.”

Details

– Premium cotton blend, soft yet strong enough for a body slam

– Unisex fit, perfect for pacifists and wrestlers alike

– Bold black-and-white print featuring a panda wielding a steel chair

– Machine washable — unlike your dignity after karaoke night

– Sizes: S–3XL

Straight from Santa’s fever dream.

The Cursed Christmas Sweater is a horrifyingly festive 3D-printed masterpiece designed to ruin family photos and win every ugly sweater contest by a landslide. Whether it’s the hairy-chested holiday king, busty Mrs. Claus, or money-print mogul — every design in this lineup feels like a crime against Christmas itself.

Perfect for the deranged, the confident, or anyone who’s had enough of “matching pajama” culture.

Variant Styles

– Ho Ho Hairy (Santa chest hair + gold chain)

– Busty Claus (red naughty Christmas “peekaboo” print)

– Holiday Fireplace (festive lights + weird nipples)

– Pizza Legs Nightmare (self-explanatory and regrettable)

– Benjamins & Blessings (money print flex)

– Pure Hair Mode (full hairy torso for the minimalist pervert)

Details

– All-over 3D sublimation print (disturbingly realistic)

– 100% polyester (regrets not included)

– Unisex fit – for all body types, shame levels, and party settings

– Machine washable — just don’t ask what comes out in the lint trap

– Sizes XS–6XL

This isn’t a joke. It’s a legal workaround with sleeves.

The lawyers said we couldn’t print the name of the painkiller that allegedly affects brain development—so we didn’t. We simply admitted to taking something, and left the rest to your imagination (and your search history).

This shirt does all the talking for you. It’s your silent, legally compliant cry for patience. When you walk into a room, everyone already knows:

• You took something.

• It was name-brand.

• And it may have changed you forever.

Think of it as a court-approved confession in cotton.
Not merch. Not fashion. A compliance garment for the chemically altered.

This isn’t a novelty shirt. It’s personal disclosure protocol, issued for the safety of those around you.

Trump said Tilenal causes autism. Whether that’s science or stand-up, one truth remains: you took it. And now you live to tell the tale—loudly, and in 100% cotton.

With this tee, there’s no confusion at the DMV, workplace, or family function. The message is clear, immediate, and medically unreviewed:

• You took Tilenal.

• Your brain development may have been crafted on a shoestring budget.

• Patience isn’t kindness—it’s treatment.

Think of it as a prescription label you can sweat through.
You’re not hiding. You’re broadcasting.

A shirt so unhinged it makes eye contact with your soul.

Featuring a council of opossums who clearly know something you don’t — probably ancient pickup techniques passed down through a lineage of abandoned Quiznos parking lots.

Is it satire? Is it autobiography? Is it a trap?

Yes.

Details :

• Premium opossum-grade cotton

• Vintage chrome font with 2009 internet energy

• Slight scent of trashcan romance baked in

• Comes pre-loaded with confusing charisma