Two eras. One Susan.

This shirt captures the rare quantum phenomenon known as “dual Susans” — a timeline collision so powerful it caused every grandmother in Australia to simultaneously sense danger.

Perfect for fans of television, time travel, or women named Susan who could absolutely win a verbal argument with a police officer.

Details:

• Soft-style cotton blend

• Black base with vintage green aura background

• Fits true to your own personal Susan

• Printed with awkward emotional residue from season 14

You served in the Civil War. You were definitely there. This shirt proves it. All-over printed with crossed muskets, “Civil War Veteran” on front, and “Proudly Served” on back — because if you’re going to lie about your military record, you might as well commit to it with your entire torso.

The Civil War Veteran Tee is a full-body declaration of service you never rendered in a war that ended 160+ years ago. It’s loud, it’s all-over print, and it will generate more confused stares per square inch than any other garment in your closet.

Features

• All-over sublimation print — your fake service record covers every angle
• Crossed muskets front graphic — the universal symbol for “I definitely fought in this”
• “CIVIL WAR VETERAN” front text — in case anyone was wondering
• “PROUDLY SERVED” back text — for when you walk away from conversations you can’t win
• Sizes XS–XXXXL — fake valor comes in every size

Specifications

• Print method: All-over sublimation
• Material: Lightweight performance fabric
• Fit: Unisex, standard
• Sizes: XS, S, M, L, XL, XXL, XXXL, XXXXL
• Fulfillment: Print-on-demand via Printify

What You’re Getting

A t-shirt that turns your entire body into a monument to a war you didn’t fight in. Pair it with the Civil War Veteran Hat for full dress uniform status. Or wear it alone and let people figure it out.

Returns + Exchanges

We accept returns within 30 days. Shirt must be unworn and in original condition. Your imaginary service record remains on file permanently.