Hit Maxes, Evade Taxes Tee
$28.00
Unit price per
Kindly, Ignore this.
You’re not gonna *not* click this, right?
Hit Maxes, Evade Taxes Tee
In stock - Ready to be shipped
Estimated delivery between July 14 and July 16.
$28.00
Unit price perThis isn't just a pump cover — it's a life philosophy backed by a jacked demigod, flaming Benjamins, and a fiscal policy your CPA will refuse to acknowledge in a court of law. When your deadlift PR is higher than your taxable income, congratulations: you've entered the Department of Swolenomics, where the only bracket that matters is the weight bracket.
The Fine Print (please do not show this to the IRS):
- Designed for max reps and minimal audits
- Suitable for offshore lifting sessions and offshore everything else
- Libertarians with creatine habits will feel personally seen
- Filing taxes is a personality flaw and this shirt says so, legally, on your body
- The jacked demigod is not a licensed financial advisor. Neither are you. That's the point.
100% breathable cotton (untraceable by IRS scanners), available in S–XXXL across 9 corruptible colorways. Fits loose enough for bulking season, structured enough to flex through an audit. A genuinely solid gym shirt with a genuinely suspicious graphic — for gym bros, meatheads, libertarians, and anyone who treats leg day and W-2s with equal contempt.
You’re not buying a joke, you’re buying a well-made product with a joke on it. Quality that won’t make you question your life choices.
We accept returns and exchanges within 30 days of delivery.
Items must be unworn, unwashed, and still capable of starting arguments.
If something’s off, email us with your order number and we’ll make it right, no weird hoops to jump through.
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Hit Maxes, Evade Taxes Tee
Built to Turn Heads. Designed to Last.
High-quality materials, bold designs, and fast U.S. shipping. Every piece we sell is made to get noticed and worn again and again.
FAQs
Yep. Real products, real shipping, real weird.
We print and ship everything from our U.S.-based fulfillment partners — no AI hallucinations involved.
Most apparel runs from XS to 3XL, depending on the product.
Size charts are listed on each item, but if you're between sizes, we recommend sizing up (especially if you’ve been hitting the gym or the fridge).
Email us anytime at weirdcastlecrew@gmail.com
We’re small but scrappy — someone human will get back to you within 1–2 business days, possibly faster if we’re not arguing about fonts.
Sometimes, yes.
Limited-run drops and trending products can disappear fast. If you see something you love, don’t wait — we might never bring it back.
Delivery, Returns, Exchanges and Guarantee
Orders usually ship within 1–3 business days, with delivery times depending on your location.
U.S. orders typically arrive in 3–7 days after fulfillment. You'll get a tracking number as soon as it’s on the move.
Not yet — but we’re working on it.
For now, Weird Castle only ships within the U.S. (though our chaos knows no borders).
You’ve got 30 days to return or exchange an item.
As long as it’s unworn, unwashed, and not covered in BBQ sauce, we’ll take it back.
Email us with your order number to get started.
Absolutely.
If your item arrives damaged or misprinted, we’ll replace it or issue a refund — no drama. Just email us a photo and your order number so we can fix it fast.