For the chefs, the parents, the meal preppers — and anyone who’s just done pretending dinner is fun.

This shirt captures that exact moment when you open the fridge, stare at half a tomato and an expired yogurt, and realize the only thing you’re cooking tonight is your sanity.

A tragic masterpiece of burnout, served medium rare.

Some nights you eat. Some nights you simply… stop.

Details

• Depressed rat graphic – Michelin star in despair
• Soft cotton blend – perfect for collapsing face-down post-meal
• Unisex fit – for everyone who’s emotionally sautéed
• Minimalist text, maximalist cry for help
• Great for cooks, students, service workers, and anyone who’s “had enough” since 2017
• Pairs beautifully with unwashed dishes and intrusive thoughts

This shirt says what your face won’t.

Minimal on the front. Catastrophic on the side. Perfect for anyone who insists they’re “just tired” while actively hemorrhaging emotionally, physically, or both. Whether you’re going through a breakup, a work crisis, or the apocalypse, this shirt lets everyone know: you’re definitely not fine.

But you said it, so legally they can’t ask.

Details

• Plain front text: “I’m fine.” – the most common lie in history
• Blood splatter graphic on side/hip – dramatic, passive-aggressive, and medically concerning
• Ash gray base – just like your soul
• Heavyweight cotton – so your breakdown is at least breathable
• Great for Halloween, therapy, or the group chat exit

The perfect shirt for anyone who thinks “good morning” is a threat.

This tee isn’t just a joke — it’s a lawsuit waiting to happen. Modeled after America’s favorite donut empire, but with way more hostility, this logo ripoff is equal parts legal gray area and middle school cafeteria energy.

Pairs best with iced coffee, side-eye, and zero shame.

Details

• Printed parody logo – aggressively stupid in the best way
• 100% cotton – soft enough for sleeping, disrespectful enough for brunch
• Unisex fit – works for him, her, and whoever’s yelling “GOT EEM” in the parking lot
• Pullover crewneck style – no effort, maximum effect
• Available in white or black – choose your flavor of chaos
• Ideal for group chats, failed job interviews, and first dates that go too well

Do not fear the man who wears 10,000 T-shirts. Fear the man who wears one T-shirt… and it’s this one.

The “Ask Me About My Ninja Disguise” shirt is a stealthy masterclass in deception, confusion, and physical comedy. Designed for maximum dad energy, birthday-party chaos, or a completely uncalled-for trip to Home Depot. 

Perfect for when you want strangers to know you’re mysterious, but also kind of approachable.

Lift the shirt. Become the ninja. Return to your normal suburban life like nothing happened.

Details

• Material: Cotton (for silent movement)

• Print: Hidden ninja mask inside the shirt (you know what to do)

• Fit: True to size unless you’re trying to bulk for stealth

• Sizing: Adult and kid options available for intergenerational stealth operations

• Wash instructions: Cold wash. Hang dry. Disappear.

Finally, a shirt brave enough to ask:

What if your chin had testicles?

Introducing the Ball Chin Tee — a no-nuance, full-commitment visual gag that will ruin family dinners, job interviews, and any chance of being taken seriously ever again. This is not a joke. It is a lifestyle.

Whether you’re trying to confuse your in-laws, destroy a first impression, or win a game of shirts vs. skins by default… this shirt makes sure nobody wins.

It’s hairy. It’s dangly. It’s your new favorite shirt.

Details:

• 100% regrettable

• Super slim fit — tucks tight into your trauma

• Long sleeve… in theory (but it’s a short sleeve shirt, like your patience)

• Smooth cotton blend that hugs the boys

• Screenprinted so your chin bag stays high resolution at every BBQ

The experiment’s over. The box is open. The cat?

Murderer.

This is Schrödinger’s cat if it got tired of waiting to be observed and took matters (and a knife) into its own paws. It’s not theoretical anymore — it’s personal.

Perfect for science nerds with a mean streak, goths who passed AP Physics, or anyone who thinks thought experiments should involve a little more blood.

Features a shadowy feline holding a knife like it knows something you don’t. Spoiler: it does.

Product Details:

• 100% cotton — because dead cats deserve breathable fabric

• Available in sinister BLACK, regret-blue BLUE, espresso-shot COFFEE, and radioactive YELLOW

• Short sleeve or long sleeve depending on the season of your villain arc

• Sizes S to 3XL — we don’t discriminate by mass

• Design printed loud and sharp like a scream from inside the box

• Soft enough to wear while contemplating the collapse of the wavefunction

Your date night just took a turn. He said “Netflix and chill” — you showed up in this shirt and pulled out a VHS tape labeled “DO NOT WATCH AFTER MIDNIGHT.”

The Let’s Watch Scary Movies tee is a wearable warning label. Vintage slasher energy. Midnight movie marathon aura. Perfect for horror fans, scream queens, and guys who still text “u up?” during a thunderstorm.

Features a knife-wielding ghost dude who’s DEFINITELY not licensed. He’s standing outside a cabin, possibly your cabin, possibly tonight.

Product Details:

• 100% cotton, soft enough to nap in after your fifth horror flick

• Screen-printed design that stares back at you

• Available in: “Final Girl Black”, “Basement Red”, “Police Will Never Believe You White”, and “Navy Because It’s Cheaper Than Black”

• Sizes XS to 4XL, because fear is universal

• Great for: movie nights, graveyard shifts, Halloween, being the weird one in your friend group