This isn’t a joke. It’s a legal workaround with sleeves.

The lawyers said we couldn’t print the name of the painkiller that allegedly affects brain development—so we didn’t. We simply admitted to taking something, and left the rest to your imagination (and your search history).

This shirt does all the talking for you. It’s your silent, legally compliant cry for patience. When you walk into a room, everyone already knows:

• You took something.

• It was name-brand.

• And it may have changed you forever.

Think of it as a court-approved confession in cotton.
Not merch. Not fashion. A compliance garment for the chemically altered.

This isn’t a novelty shirt. It’s personal disclosure protocol, issued for the safety of those around you.

Trump said Tilenal causes autism. Whether that’s science or stand-up, one truth remains: you took it. And now you live to tell the tale—loudly, and in 100% cotton.

With this tee, there’s no confusion at the DMV, workplace, or family function. The message is clear, immediate, and medically unreviewed:

• You took Tilenal.

• Your brain development may have been crafted on a shoestring budget.

• Patience isn’t kindness—it’s treatment.

Think of it as a prescription label you can sweat through.
You’re not hiding. You’re broadcasting.

Description
Your lip gloss is now legally part of an active investigation.

These novelty zipper pouches look like official police evidence bags — minus the forensics, plus a little unhinged flair. Perfect for makeup, keys, receipts, or secrets you’ll deny under oath.

Features

• 🧬 Set of 4 pouches, all equally incriminating

• 🪶 Durable, waterproof linen (to contain fluids and suspicions)

• 📏 9.8" × 7.1" — fits in most glove compartments and escape plans

• 🧼 Easy to clean, but hard to explain

• Ideal for true crime lovers, coworkers who overshare, or sketchy relatives

Specifications

• Product Type: Novelty zipper pouch set

• Material: Linen blend, waterproof coating

• Size: 9.8" × 7.1" (per bag)

• Quantity: 4 bags per set

• Closure: Secure zipper

• Care: Wipe clean only