I Identify As a Water – Can Cooler 2‑Pack
$30.00
Unit price per
Kindly, Ignore this.
You’re not gonna *not* click this, right?
I Identify As a Water – Can Cooler 2‑Pack
In stock - Ready to be shipped
Estimated delivery between November 22 and November 24.
$30.00
Unit price perIntroducing the perfect hydration illusion. Whether you’re hiding from the HOA or just trolling the neighbors, these double-sided coolers say “I Identify As a Water” — and somehow, no one questions it. Comes in a 2-pack for maximum legal coverage. Great for dads, dudes, and degenerates.
Details
– Set includes 2 neoprene can sleeves
– Fits standard 12 oz cans
– Bold white text on matte black background
– Collapsible, durable, and deceptively innocent
– Legally we’re not liable for what’s inside the can
You’re not buying a joke, you’re buying a well-made product with a joke on it. Quality that won’t make you question your life choices.
We accept returns and exchanges within 30 days of delivery.
Items must be unworn, unwashed, and still capable of starting arguments.
If something’s off, email us with your order number and we’ll make it right, no weird hoops to jump through.
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I Identify As a Water – Can Cooler 2‑Pack
Built to Turn Heads. Designed to Last.
High-quality materials, bold designs, and fast U.S. shipping. Every piece we sell is made to get noticed and worn again and again.
FAQs
Yep. Real products, real shipping, real weird.
We print and ship everything from our U.S.-based fulfillment partners — no AI hallucinations involved.
Most apparel runs from XS to 3XL, depending on the product.
Size charts are listed on each item, but if you're between sizes, we recommend sizing up (especially if you’ve been hitting the gym or the fridge).
Email us anytime at weirdcastlecrew@gmail.com
We’re small but scrappy — someone human will get back to you within 1–2 business days, possibly faster if we’re not arguing about fonts.
Sometimes, yes.
Limited-run drops and trending products can disappear fast. If you see something you love, don’t wait — we might never bring it back.
Delivery, Returns, Exchanges and Guarantee
Orders usually ship within 1–3 business days, with delivery times depending on your location.
U.S. orders typically arrive in 3–7 days after fulfillment. You'll get a tracking number as soon as it’s on the move.
Not yet — but we’re working on it.
For now, Weird Castle only ships within the U.S. (though our chaos knows no borders).
You’ve got 30 days to return or exchange an item.
As long as it’s unworn, unwashed, and not covered in BBQ sauce, we’ll take it back.
Email us with your order number to get started.
Absolutely.
If your item arrives damaged or misprinted, we’ll replace it or issue a refund — no drama. Just email us a photo and your order number so we can fix it fast.