Because even your shelf deserves a proper send-off.

The Coffin Dancer Figurine immortalizes one of humanity’s greatest memes — the Ghanaian pallbearers who danced their way into our hearts and timelines. Perfect for your desk, your coffin, or as a subtle reminder that life’s short, so you might as well go out with rhythm.

Each figure set is crafted from durable PVC and comes in two styles:

• Standing: ready to march your bad decisions to their final resting place
• Kneeling: taking a much-deserved break between funerals

Give your office, car dashboard, or roommate’s shrine that tasteful mix of tragedy and groove.

Details

– Made from durable, high-quality PVC

– Height: approx. 10 cm (standing) / 5 cm (kneeling)

– Available in two styles: Standing or Kneeling

– Lightweight, detailed, and perfectly meme-proportioned

– The only funeral décor that sparks joy

Description
We don’t know what he did. We don’t know why. But this little red guy finally snapped during Q3 planning — and now he’s lying face-down, holding your pen like a true office martyr.

Features

• Holds one (1) standard pen, one (1) grudge

• Made of PVC so you can’t be charged with anything

• Compact, durable, and uncomfortably relatable

• Zero pens included, zero remorse given

• Perfect for coworkers, mortal enemies, or corporate survivors

Specifications

• Material: PVC plastic

• Color: Blood red

• Size: Compact desktop size (fits 1 standard pen)

• Function: Pen holder / desk accessory

• Style: Dark humor / novelty office supply

• Package: 1× Pen holder (pen not included)

Introducing the most revolutionary drink you’ll never drink.

Dehydrated Water is the world’s purest form of nothing — harvested from the imaginary glaciers of nowhere and sealed fresh in a metal can for your convenience. Just add water… not included (obviously).

Perfect for anyone who takes themselves too seriously, this can of air-adjacent hydration makes a hilarious stocking stuffer, office white-elephant gift, or minimalist survival kit. Warning: may cause confusion, laughter, and existential dread.

Whether you’re an athlete, a prepper, or just dehydrated emotionally — this is your new favorite beverage substitute.

Details

• 100% Organic, Vegan, Gluten-Free Nothing
• 0 Calories, 0 Sugar, 0 Everything
• World’s Lightest Drink™ – weighs less than your motivation
• Never expires – because there’s nothing to expire
• Perfect for parties, office desks, and people you secretly hate

Two hoods. One questionable idea.

Introducing the Double Hoodie – Relationship Survival Suit, a cozy experiment in trust, patience, and shared body heat. Made for couples who claim they never fight, this hoodie forces you to prove it.

Perfect for movie nights, passive-aggressive Netflix selections, and discovering that your partner breathes way too loud.

Soft flannel on the outside, quiet resentment on the inside.

Details

– Fits two adults comfortably, assuming you still like each other

– Plush popcorn-print fleece for premium “we’ve given up” energy

– Double hood and front pocket for snacks, phones, and emotional baggage

– Machine washable, but your relationship might not be

– Great anniversary gift for couples who peaked during quarantine

Ever looked down at your feet and thought, “These could be funnier”?

Introducing Duck Feet Socks — the unholy blend of comfort and chaos. These 3D-printed socks turn your legs into full-blown webbed nightmares. Perfect for white elephant exchanges, gag gifts, or just confusing people at the grocery store.

Slide into a pair and instantly waddle your way into legend.

Details

– Fits most adult feet (men’s up to size 11)

– 80% polyester, 10% cotton, 10% spandex — stretchier than your excuses

– Realistic 3D duck leg print (hauntingly accurate)

– Machine washable (unlike actual ducks)

– Ideal for parties, gifts, or just ruining serious moments

Description
These aren’t just bandages. They’re lessons.

For klutzes, contractors, and coworkers who really should’ve known better, Dumbass Bandages turn every oops into an opportunity to publicly acknowledge your poor decision-making. Individually wrapped, latex-free, and hilariously sterile — just like your love life.

Slap one on a paper cut. A skinned knee. A broken ego.
Then carry on like the champ you aren’t.

Features

• 20-pack of latex-free bandages

• Individually wrapped for maximum shame

• Sterile, waterproof, and regret-proof

• Fits fingers, knees, and fragile egos

Details

• Size: Standard assorted cuts

• Packaging: Box labeled loud enough to embarrass you

• Material: Non-woven fabric + adhesive reality check

For those who treat hunger like a medical emergency.

The Hangry First Aid Lunch Box is your portable survival kit for the moments between “I’m fine” and “someone’s about to get hurt.” Built tough enough to survive office politics, road trips, or whatever the hell your kids are doing in the back seat, it’s insulated, waterproof, and designed to prevent full-scale emotional collapse.

Throw in your snacks, your dignity, and maybe a Capri Sun for later. This isn’t just a lunch box — it’s crisis management with a zipper.

Perfect for coworkers, gym rats, parents, or anyone one missed meal away from becoming a headline.

Details

• Insulated interior – keeps food cold and tempers stable
• Durable polyester shell – handles crumbs, chaos, and confrontation
• Mesh side pocket – for water bottles or passive-aggressive notes
• Front zipper pocket – for utensils, secrets, or candy bribes
• Detachable strap – carry it like your emotional baggage
• Easy to clean – just like your browser history