For when you're this close to snapping.

This lavender-scented candle smells like the only thing holding you together. Burn it before you burn bridges. Makes a great passive-aggressive gift for friends, exes, coworkers, or just yourself.

Details

– 3.6oz soy wax

– lavender scent (calms rage… kinda)

– glass jar with “my last nerve – oh look, it’s on fire” label

– slow burn, fast mood shift

– ideal for desks, bathrooms, or emotionally unstable environments

Meet Naughty Spud, the crocheted Christmas potato who’s single-handedly ruining HR-approved holiday parties everywhere.

Each spud comes with 30 swappable dirty signs, ranging from “Potato in the streets, French fry in the sheets” to “Ho-ho-hold my beer.”

He’s the perfect mix of “grandma made this” and “grandma would disown you for buying it.”

Stick him on your desk, your mantle, or right next to your Elf on the Shelf to establish dominance. Whether it’s Secret Santa, White Elephant, or a full-on corporate meltdown, Naughty Spud is guaranteed to be the most talked-about gift of the night.

Details

– Hand-crocheted potato plush with magnetic hands

– Includes 30 dirty, swappable signs

– Comes in gift-ready box with no shame included

– Stands proudly at 6 inches (of pure potato confidence)

– Works great as office decor, adult stocking stuffer, or emotional support tuber

Description
Symptoms: Grumbling knees, sudden lawn rage, thinking 9 PM is “late.”
Treatment: One (1) dose of OldGitamol, taken with laughter and a glass of prune juice.

Looks like a real pill bottle. Works like a sugar rush.

Features

• 🍬 Packed with jelly beans that taste way better than your cholesterol meds

• 🛍️ Comes in a fake pharmacy bag for maximum believability, minimum liability

• 🎂 Perfect gag for 30th, 40th, 50th, 60th, or any age where back pain becomes a personality

Side Effects

• 😂 Uncontrollable giggling

• 🕴️ Pranked coworkers

• 👴 Getting called “young man” sarcastically

Because sometimes the best medicine is jelly beans in disguise.

Specifications

• Product Type: Gag gift candy

• Includes: 1 fake pill bottle + jelly beans + pharmacy bag

• Materials: Plastic bottle, paper bag, assorted jelly beans

• Dimensions: Approx. 4.5" × 2" bottle

• Not for actual medical use (unless “sugar high” counts)

This isn’t a joke. It’s your warning label, embroidered for permanence.

Trump said Tilenal causes autism. Maybe he was wrong, maybe he was right—but one fact remains: you took it. You are a certified Tilenal Baby.

This hat exists so you don’t have to keep explaining yourself. It communicates everything before you open your mouth:

• You took Tilenal.

• Your brain development may be compromised.

• Patience isn’t optional—it’s required.

Think of it as a medical device for social interaction—a wearable diagnosis for modern life. When people approach, they already know who they’re dealing with. No confusion, no misinterpretation—just informed consent.

Not apparel. Not merch. A communication tool.

This isn’t a fashion statement. It’s an assistive device, engineered for smoother social encounters.

When Trump announced Tylenawl could cause autism, many finally had words for what they’d always known: we are Tylenawl Babies. Our brain development may not have met FDA projections, and communication can be… interpretive.

That’s where this hat steps in.

By wearing it, you provide a vital public service:

• Please be patient.

• Please adjust expectations.

• Please understand the side effects.

Think of it as a medical bracelet for your forehead—a wearable disclaimer for modern conversation.

No awkward introductions. No lengthy backstory. Just instant understanding.

This isn’t apparel. This is adaptive technology for the socially unmedicated.

Description
For when you want to say “I’m not like other men” without speaking. Embroidered in the unmistakable black-and-yellow of the world’s most educational platform, this hat is equal parts conversation starter and warning label.

Features

• Crisp embroidery so clean it belongs behind a paywall

• 100% cotton dome for comfort during marathon browsing sessions

• Adjustable strap for heads full of bad decisions

• Curved brim for that “I just watched something I can’t tell you about” squint

• Available in black, white, pink, beige, and washed black

• Perfect for wing nights, festivals, or reminding strangers incognito mode isn’t magic

Specifications

• Material: Cotton

• Colors: Black, White, Pink, Beige, Washed Black

• Sizes: Adjustable (one size fits most)

• Fit: Classic dad hat

• Style: Novelty / streetwear

• Embroidery: Premium stitching