Finally, a prescription you’ll actually fill.

The Prescription Beer Can Cooler is your doctor-approved cure for sobriety. It keeps your beer cold, your hands warm, and your priorities perfectly misaligned. Designed to look like an oversized pill bottle, this foam koozie is the ideal gag gift for anyone who believes laughter is the best medicine (after alcohol, of course).

Great for parties, white elephant exchanges, or anyone currently self-medicating with Busch Light. Warning: may cause increased social confidence, poor karaoke decisions, and excessive honesty.

Details

– Fits standard 12 oz cans and bottles

– Made of soft insulating foam — the good stuff, not the sad cheap kind

– Printed with an authentic-style “Prescription Beer” label

– Keeps your drink colder than your ex’s heart

– Ideal gag gift for drinkers, doctors, and people who’ve given up on both

For when your sense of humor hits rock bottom — and keeps digging.

The Rectal Use Only Stickers are the ultimate weapon in the prank wars. Stick one on your friend’s water bottle, lunch box, or Amazon return and watch confusion unfold. Each roll comes with 200 little green warnings guaranteed to make any situation uncomfortably funny.

Ideal for immature adults, chaotic coworkers, or anyone still laughing at “that’s what she said.” Durable, waterproof, and sticky enough to ruin your reputation at family gatherings.

Details

• Roll of 200 stickers — more than enough to end friendships
• 1.5” x .375” – the perfect size for maximum suspicion
• Waterproof and tear-resistant – because laughter is forever
• Bright green finish – visible from across the HR department
• Best used on other people’s stuff (but legally, don’t)

Not every empire is built on hard work.

Some are built on plastic bricks and self-delusion.

Introducing the Financial Delusion Starter Kit — twelve gorgeous, fake-ass gold bars for anyone who’s ever said “money isn’t real” out loud and meant it.

Each brick is a glimmering monument to your unchecked ambition. Stack them on your desk like you’re laundering NFTs. Pose with them for your “just secured the bag” photo dump. Use them as paperweights for your unpaid bills.

These bars are so shiny they’ll make your landlord reconsider your rent increase — or at least hesitate before sending the eviction notice.

Whether you’re role-playing a Wall Street villain, decorating your bunker, or just trying to feel something again…

Congratulations. You’re rich now. Emotionally, anyway.

Details

• 12 deluxe imitation gold bars – for when reality’s not hitting hard enough
• Mirror-finish shine so intense it reflects your financial trauma
• Lightweight, stackable, and judgment-proof
• Perfect for: fake heists, pyramid schemes, podcast backdrops, and disappointing your parents
• Each bar measures: 6.5” x 2.9” x 2”
• Material: hollow plastic dipped in false confidence
• Ships in about a week (because time is money)

Go to sleep like a cartoon character having a midlife crisis.

The Sad Frog Sleep Mask is soft, plush, and deeply relatable — perfect for people who are tired in more ways than one. Whether you’re passing out on a plane, fake-napping to avoid your family, or just lying there reflecting on your choices, this little green icon’s got your back.

It’s not just a sleep mask. It’s a mood.

Details

– Plush, breathable, and lightly padded for comfort

– Adjustable strap for sad heads of all sizes

– Blocks light, joy, and hope with equal efficiency

– Machine washable (unlike your conscience)

– 20×10 cm – fits adults and kids equally dead inside

For when small talk physically hurts.

The Sarcastic Comment Loading Whiskey Glass is for people who smile through meetings, family dinners, and every sentence that begins with “Well actually…”

Pour two fingers of something brown, let your inner monologue buffer, and sip your way through the pain of existing in a society that still uses “reply all.”

Sturdy enough to survive your third existential crisis, classy enough to make HR nervous.

Details

– 10oz glass built for both bourbon and bitterness

– “Sarcastic Comment Loading” engraved design

– Includes whiskey stones because you’ve earned cold, not compromise

– Comes in a fancy box so people think you have your life together

– Dishwasher safe, emotionally unstable

Meet the Sleepy Royalty Deck, where every King looks one nap away from quitting his kingdom.

These gorgeously illustrated cards were designed for the chronically tired, the emotionally unavailable, and anyone who treats game night like a group therapy session. Whether you’re bluffing in poker or just trying to stay awake long enough to shuffle, these cards bring the perfect mix of chaos and class to your table.

Because nothing says “family bonding” like arguing over Uno rules printed on designer cardstock.

Details

– 54 cards (52 standard + 2 jokers that look suspiciously like your ex)

– Linen finish for that “luxury casino that went bankrupt” feel

– Air-cushioned texture for smooth shuffling and even smoother emotional avoidance

– Comes in an art-deck box worthy of your least stable friend’s coffee table

– Great for poker, blackjack, or arguing about whether Go Fish is still fun