Dehydrated Water – Premium Zero-Calorie H₂-No Gag Gift for the Chronically Confused
$35.00
Unit price per
Kindly, Ignore this.
You’re not gonna *not* click this, right?
Dehydrated Water – Premium Zero-Calorie H₂-No Gag Gift for the Chronically Confused
In stock - Ready to be shipped
Estimated delivery between November 22 and November 24.
$35.00
Unit price perIntroducing the most revolutionary drink you’ll never drink.
Dehydrated Water is the world’s purest form of nothing — harvested from the imaginary glaciers of nowhere and sealed fresh in a metal can for your convenience. Just add water… not included (obviously).
Perfect for anyone who takes themselves too seriously, this can of air-adjacent hydration makes a hilarious stocking stuffer, office white-elephant gift, or minimalist survival kit. Warning: may cause confusion, laughter, and existential dread.
Whether you’re an athlete, a prepper, or just dehydrated emotionally — this is your new favorite beverage substitute.
Details
- 100% Organic, Vegan, Gluten-Free Nothing
- 0 Calories, 0 Sugar, 0 Everything
- World’s Lightest Drink™ – weighs less than your motivation
- Never expires – because there’s nothing to expire
- Perfect for parties, office desks, and people you secretly hate
You’re not buying a joke, you’re buying a well-made product with a joke on it. Quality that won’t make you question your life choices.
We accept returns and exchanges within 30 days of delivery.
Items must be unworn, unwashed, and still capable of starting arguments.
If something’s off, email us with your order number and we’ll make it right, no weird hoops to jump through.
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Dehydrated Water – Premium Zero-Calorie H₂-No Gag Gift for the Chronically Confused
Built to Turn Heads. Designed to Last.
High-quality materials, bold designs, and fast U.S. shipping. Every piece we sell is made to get noticed and worn again and again.
FAQs
Yep. Real products, real shipping, real weird.
We print and ship everything from our U.S.-based fulfillment partners — no AI hallucinations involved.
Most apparel runs from XS to 3XL, depending on the product.
Size charts are listed on each item, but if you're between sizes, we recommend sizing up (especially if you’ve been hitting the gym or the fridge).
Email us anytime at weirdcastlecrew@gmail.com
We’re small but scrappy — someone human will get back to you within 1–2 business days, possibly faster if we’re not arguing about fonts.
Sometimes, yes.
Limited-run drops and trending products can disappear fast. If you see something you love, don’t wait — we might never bring it back.
Delivery, Returns, Exchanges and Guarantee
Orders usually ship within 1–3 business days, with delivery times depending on your location.
U.S. orders typically arrive in 3–7 days after fulfillment. You'll get a tracking number as soon as it’s on the move.
Not yet — but we’re working on it.
For now, Weird Castle only ships within the U.S. (though our chaos knows no borders).
You’ve got 30 days to return or exchange an item.
As long as it’s unworn, unwashed, and not covered in BBQ sauce, we’ll take it back.
Email us with your order number to get started.
Absolutely.
If your item arrives damaged or misprinted, we’ll replace it or issue a refund — no drama. Just email us a photo and your order number so we can fix it fast.