Retirement Plan – 12-Piece Fake Gold Bar Set for Wannabe Billionaires & Movie Villains
$100.00
Unit price per
Kindly, Ignore this.
You’re not gonna *not* click this, right?
Retirement Plan – 12-Piece Fake Gold Bar Set for Wannabe Billionaires & Movie Villains
In stock - Ready to be shipped
Estimated delivery between November 23 and November 25.
$100.00
Unit price perNot every empire is built on hard work.
Some are built on plastic bricks and self-delusion.
Introducing the Financial Delusion Starter Kit — twelve gorgeous, fake-ass gold bars for anyone who’s ever said “money isn’t real” out loud and meant it.
Each brick is a glimmering monument to your unchecked ambition. Stack them on your desk like you’re laundering NFTs. Pose with them for your “just secured the bag” photo dump. Use them as paperweights for your unpaid bills.
These bars are so shiny they’ll make your landlord reconsider your rent increase — or at least hesitate before sending the eviction notice.
Whether you’re role-playing a Wall Street villain, decorating your bunker, or just trying to feel something again…
Congratulations. You’re rich now. Emotionally, anyway.
Details
- 12 deluxe imitation gold bars – for when reality’s not hitting hard enough
- Mirror-finish shine so intense it reflects your financial trauma
- Lightweight, stackable, and judgment-proof
- Perfect for: fake heists, pyramid schemes, podcast backdrops, and disappointing your parents
- Each bar measures: 6.5” x 2.9” x 2”
- Material: hollow plastic dipped in false confidence
- Ships in about a week (because time is money)
You’re not buying a joke, you’re buying a well-made product with a joke on it. Quality that won’t make you question your life choices.
We accept returns and exchanges within 30 days of delivery.
Items must be unworn, unwashed, and still capable of starting arguments.
If something’s off, email us with your order number and we’ll make it right, no weird hoops to jump through.
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Retirement Plan – 12-Piece Fake Gold Bar Set for Wannabe Billionaires & Movie Villains
Built to Turn Heads. Designed to Last.
High-quality materials, bold designs, and fast U.S. shipping. Every piece we sell is made to get noticed and worn again and again.
FAQs
Yep. Real products, real shipping, real weird.
We print and ship everything from our U.S.-based fulfillment partners — no AI hallucinations involved.
Most apparel runs from XS to 3XL, depending on the product.
Size charts are listed on each item, but if you're between sizes, we recommend sizing up (especially if you’ve been hitting the gym or the fridge).
Email us anytime at weirdcastlecrew@gmail.com
We’re small but scrappy — someone human will get back to you within 1–2 business days, possibly faster if we’re not arguing about fonts.
Sometimes, yes.
Limited-run drops and trending products can disappear fast. If you see something you love, don’t wait — we might never bring it back.
Delivery, Returns, Exchanges and Guarantee
Orders usually ship within 1–3 business days, with delivery times depending on your location.
U.S. orders typically arrive in 3–7 days after fulfillment. You'll get a tracking number as soon as it’s on the move.
Not yet — but we’re working on it.
For now, Weird Castle only ships within the U.S. (though our chaos knows no borders).
You’ve got 30 days to return or exchange an item.
As long as it’s unworn, unwashed, and not covered in BBQ sauce, we’ll take it back.
Email us with your order number to get started.
Absolutely.
If your item arrives damaged or misprinted, we’ll replace it or issue a refund — no drama. Just email us a photo and your order number so we can fix it fast.