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How do you feel about taxes?

Reinvest your money, buy a shirt you skinny bitch

FUCK TAXES, HIT MAXES

Some Guys Get All The Pussy

Want to be one of them?

BECOME A CERTIFIED PUSSY LOVER

Your wardrobe’s final form, handcrafted in chaos.

Weird You Can Wear

Explore our most chaotic creations, from high-quality hats to dangerously expressive tees.

All Products

The Shirt Offensive

The War on Baldness

House of Questionable Taste

The Weird Castle Gift Shop

Civil War Hat 1 - Limited Edition

$38.00

Civil War 2 Hat - Limited Edition

$38.00

Laser cat gainsmas - Ugly Christmas Sweater

$48.00

Please Be Patient, My Mom Took Tylonel Onesie

$20.00

The Weird Castle Guarantee

Fast & Reliable Shipping

Most orders ship in 1–3 business days from our U.S. bunker. You’ll get tracking before you can even regret your purchase.

Quality You Can Wear (and Wash)

We use durable, soft fabrics and long-lasting prints that survive laundry day and family BBQs.

Easy Returns, No Interrogation

Not a perfect fit? No problem. We accept returns or exchanges within 30 days—no guilt trip included.

Thousands of Happy Weirdos

Over 10,000 customers proudly wearing history’s worst ideas. You’re in questionable but good company.

Trusted by 10,000+ future veterans

Tilenal Exposure Advisory Collection

The Tilenal Exposure Advisory Collection is part of an ongoing public awareness effort to address the long-term effects of over-the-counter decision-making.

Whether exposure occurred in utero, postnatally, or recreationally, these garments provide immediate disclosure and social clarity. Each piece serves as a wearable advisory—reducing the need for unnecessary conversation, repeated instructions, or prolonged eye contact.

Engineered for comfort, embroidered for accountability.

This isn’t fashion.

This is pharmaceutical transparency in cotton form.

SPREAD THE MESSAGE

He’s Not Racist. He’s Just From the 1800s

I remember both World Wars. And the one before that.

Buy

You Fought for This Mess

The Civil War 2 cap, surrounded by everything we fought to protect:

Buy

Weird Products, Honest Reviews.

Honestly didn’t expect the quality to be this good.

"I bought the Civil War 2 hat as a joke for a bachelor party, but now I wear it everywhere. The stitching is clean, the fit’s solid, and it shipped fast. Got three compliments the first day."

Josiah I.

Verified Purchase

Civil War 2 Hat - Limited Edition

$38.00

10/10 would take Tylenol and wear again.

"I don’t know what I expected but the shirt is actually good?? Looks exactly like the pics. Fit is nice. Fabric isn’t weird. The shirt is good quality but now strangers keep talking to me. I didn’t think through the consequences."

Sarah H.

Verified Purchase

Please Be Patient, I Took Tilenal Tee

$24.00

The perfect mix of confidence, chaos, and cotton.

"Honestly didn’t think I’d actually wear this outside, but now it’s my go-to gym shirt. Every time I walk in, at least one person laughs or says something about it. The print quality’s solid and the fit’s perfect — it’s just dumb enough to be amazing."

Ryan M.

Verified Purchase

Hit Maxes, Evade Taxes Tee

$28.00