This isn’t a joke. It’s a legal workaround with sleeves.

The lawyers said we couldn’t print the name of the painkiller that allegedly affects brain development—so we didn’t. We simply admitted to taking something, and left the rest to your imagination (and your search history).

This shirt does all the talking for you. It’s your silent, legally compliant cry for patience. When you walk into a room, everyone already knows:

• You took something.

• It was name-brand.

• And it may have changed you forever.

Think of it as a court-approved confession in cotton.
Not merch. Not fashion. A compliance garment for the chemically altered.

This isn’t a novelty shirt. It’s personal disclosure protocol, issued for the safety of those around you.

Trump said Tilenal causes autism. Whether that’s science or stand-up, one truth remains: you took it. And now you live to tell the tale—loudly, and in 100% cotton.

With this tee, there’s no confusion at the DMV, workplace, or family function. The message is clear, immediate, and medically unreviewed:

• You took Tilenal.

• Your brain development may have been crafted on a shoestring budget.

• Patience isn’t kindness—it’s treatment.

Think of it as a prescription label you can sweat through.
You’re not hiding. You’re broadcasting.

You ever been abducted by a UFO mid-therapy breakthrough while cross-legged in a field of unresolved issues? You have now.

This shirt is for the girlies, the goblins, and the fully boned-out husks of humanity who turned their childhood trauma into tight five stand-up sets and a vape addiction.

She’s not coping. She’s content.

He’s not okay. He’s got a rainbow beam in his soul and a sarcastic tone in his bones.

You wear this and you become unemployably hilarious.

• Skeleton? Check.

• Alien tractor beam? Check.

• Rainbow portal to your inner pain-clown? Double check.

Perfect for:

• Late-night overshares

• Making therapists laugh

• Laughing at the void

• Looking hot while spiraling

Details:

• 100% cotton, won’t dissolve in your tears

• Unisex fit, because everyone’s broken

• Screen printed graphic (like a sticker on your trauma)

• Runs true to size. Emotionally? Who’s to say.

A love letter to your childhood… and your lower back pain.

This warped OG controller is pushing a walker but still pressing start. Call it nostalgia, call it denial — either way, it’s limping to the high score screen with arthritis and attitude.

Wear it loud if your favorite hobby is telling kids the game was harder “back then.”

Details :

• Printed graphic of a vintage video game controller using a walker

• 100% combed cotton

• Classic crew neck

• Soft-touch screen print

• Fits true to size unless you’re old, in which case everything’s a little tighter than it used to be

Embroidery loud. Ambition low. The Do Nothing Club Hat is your official uniform for giving up—in style. Featuring blood-red lettering and a lonely palm tree that screams “I’m emotionally on vacation,” this hat is ideal for beach bums, burnout victims, fake retirees, and anyone who’s simply out of spoons.

Sun-shading? Yes. Life-affirming? Maybe. Productivity-enhancing? Absolutely not.

Join the club. Or don’t. We literally don’t care.

Details

• 100% cotton, breathable and judgment-free

• Machine embroidery, so the laziness lasts forever

• Adjustable strap – one size fits all who’ve given up

• Available in black, khaki, or white (if you’re feeling ironic)

• Ideal for vacations, mental breakdowns, and slow walks to nowhere

This is what happens when you go a little too goofy.

One minute you’re being a little silly… the next, you’re in a government-funded laugh facility.

This shirt is a cautionary tale, a confession, and a threat.

Printed in HD on soft “milk silk” that feels like you’re being gently restrained by a cloud.

• Unisex fit for emotionally unstable boys and girls

• Short sleeve

• Sillycore approved

• Limited release from Weird Castle

Wear it when you’re not legally allowed to be funny anymore.