Meet the Sleepy Royalty Deck, where every King looks one nap away from quitting his kingdom.

These gorgeously illustrated cards were designed for the chronically tired, the emotionally unavailable, and anyone who treats game night like a group therapy session. Whether you’re bluffing in poker or just trying to stay awake long enough to shuffle, these cards bring the perfect mix of chaos and class to your table.

Because nothing says “family bonding” like arguing over Uno rules printed on designer cardstock.

Details

– 54 cards (52 standard + 2 jokers that look suspiciously like your ex)

– Linen finish for that “luxury casino that went bankrupt” feel

– Air-cushioned texture for smooth shuffling and even smoother emotional avoidance

– Comes in an art-deck box worthy of your least stable friend’s coffee table

– Great for poker, blackjack, or arguing about whether Go Fish is still fun

Introducing the official hat of rock bottoms and Saturday nights.

The Will Shake Ass for Tequila Trucker Hat is for the brave, the unhinged, and anyone who’s ever said “I don’t even like tequila” right before taking five shots. It’s lightweight, breathable, and guaranteed to make your family question your life choices.

Perfect for parties, bar crawls, and weddings you weren’t technically invited to.

Details

– Adjustable mesh back for maximum airflow (and regret)

– Black-and-white colorway that goes with any moral downfall

– Bold block lettering that screams “please film me doing this”

– Durable polyester that’ll survive both hangovers and heartbreaks

– Hand-wash only, because tequila stains are forever

Introducing the Bitch Please, I’m a Mermaid Socks — because even mythical creatures have boundaries.

These cozy, sarcastic foot blankets are soft enough for self-care Sunday and salty enough for the group chat. Slip them on after ghosting your ex or just to assert dominance at brunch. They’re proof that comfort and confidence can absolutely coexist — especially when you’re a magical sea bitch who doesn’t owe anyone an explanation.

Details

– Fits most feet, and all bad moods

– Soft cotton-poly blend perfect for lounging or judging

– Non-slip text: “Bitch please. I’m a mermaid.” (in case anyone forgets)

– Durable print that survives washing and drama

– Great gift for best friends, ex-friends, or anyone with ocean energy and zero patience

Your music deserves a case as unhinged as your playlist.

The Grenade AirPods Case keeps your buds safe while letting everyone know you’re one missed text away from detonation. Crafted from soft silicone that’s durable enough to survive drops, parties, and the emotional fallout of your 3 a.m. decisions.

It’s shockproof, dustproof, and suspicious enough to get you pulled aside at airport security. Basically, it’s perfect.

Details

– Fits Apple AirPods Pro

– Made of soft, durable silicone that can handle rage-drops and hangovers

– Includes detachable carabiner for “combat readiness”

– Opens easily but refuses to die

– Protects your AirPods from scratches, impact, and your general instability

Straight from the holler to your head.

The I ❤️ HAWK TUAH Trucker Hat is the official uniform of the internet’s favorite spitting philosopher. Perfect for concerts, cookouts, or anytime you need to remind folks that true power comes from deep in the diaphragm.

It’s pink, bold, and dangerously aerodynamic — ideal for sending mixed signals at gas stations and dive bars.

Details

– Classic mesh back for breathability (and Southern humidity)

– Adjustable snap closure for all head sizes, even big egos

– Embroidered “I ❤️ HAWK TUAH” print that says it all

– Lightweight polyester that holds up to sweat, beer, and glory

– Perfect for anyone who’s ever gone viral against their will

Some people have degrees. You have certification.

The Forklift Certified Trucker Hat is for anyone who’s ever moved a pallet, crushed a Monster, and said “I got this” before a minor incident. Designed for legends of the loading dock and champions of the warehouse flirt.

Bright orange mesh keeps your head cool while the bold black text lets everyone know you’re professionally unhinged — and possibly a liability.

Details

– Adjustable mesh back for that “ventilated confidence” feel

– Embroidered text: FORKLIFT CERTIFIED (no questions asked)

– Lightweight polyester: durable, breathable, and beer-proof

– OSHA-approved for fashion, not behavior

– Looks best paired with steel-toe boots and bad decisions

Finally — a comb that acknowledges reality.

The Bald Man’s Comb is the perfect gift for that friend who’s been “rocking the buzz cut” for five years straight. Made of polished wood and pure disrespect, this comb features a minimalist tooth count — because, well, he’s a minimalist now.

It’s lightweight, easy to wrap, and guaranteed to ruin at least one birthday party. Great for dads, uncles, or anyone who still thinks Rogaine “just needs time.”

Details

– Includes two wooden combs (one for home, one for denial)

– Laser-engraved “Bald Man’s Comb” text

– Made from premium wood — like the head it’s meant for

– The ultimate over-the-hill or gag gift for men

– Perfect stocking stuffer for men who peaked at their hairline