Description
For the sinner on a schedule. Every cigarette drags you 11 minutes closer to the pearly gates — or straight past them, coughing in style.

Features

• 100% cotton (won’t melt if you descend the other way)

• Loose fit for optimal lung expansion (or collapse)

• Conversation starter… and ender

• Perfect gag gift for quitters, smokers, or holy rollers

• Works as a warning, punchline, or spiritual icebreaker

Specifications

• Fabric: Cotton

• Colors: Black, White, Gray

• Sizes: XS–XXXL

• Sleeve: Regular short sleeve

• Fit: Loose pullover

• Style: Casual unisex

• Print: High-quality graphic

• Thickness: Standard

Description
For the man, woman, or cryptid who refuses to play coy. This tee makes it official: you love pussy. Cats, obviously. (Mostly.)

Features

• Soft, breathable cotton — because you’ll get hot wearing this

• Unisex fit for lovers of all kinds

• Comes in more colors than your ex’s mood swings

• Guaranteed conversation starter (and sometimes ender)

• Cats front and center — subtlety is extinct

Specifications

• Fabric: Cotton

• Colors: Black, White, Gray, Pink, Red

• Sizes: XS–XXXL

• Sleeve: Regular short sleeve

• Fit: Loose pullover

• Style: Casual unisex

• Print: High-quality graphic

• Thickness: Standard

Description
Some shirts make a statement. This one makes people squint: “Why is there a shrimp on your chest?” Answer: scoliosis.

Features

• 100% cotton comfort for all-day ridiculousness

• Perfectly curved shrimp design (tiny seafood hammock vibes)

• Conversation starter that nobody asked for

• Unisex sizing from S–XXXL (Asian sizing — order up)

• Works for barbecues, seafood aisles, or marine biology majors

Specifications

• Fabric: Cotton

• Colors: Black, White, Gray, Pink

• Sizes: S–XXXL

• Sleeve: Regular short sleeve

• Fit: Loose pullover

• Style: Casual unisex

• Print: High-quality graphic

• Thickness: Standard

Description
Why carry a fan when you can wear one like the eco-overlord you were born to be? The Solar Fan Hat turns every ray of sunlight into a smug little breeze straight to your face.

Features

• Solar-powered mini fan spins automatically in bright sunlight

• No batteries — the sun does all the work while you flex

• 100% cotton for breathable comfort

• Adjustable strap for a secure fit (53–59cm)

• Fan detaches if you want to stick it somewhere else (don’t make it weird)

• Available in white, black, blue, yellow, and red

• Equal parts hat, wind machine, and power move

Specifications

• Material: Cotton

• Colors: White, Black, Blue, Yellow, Red

• Sizes: Adjustable (53–59cm)

• Fit: Classic cap with fan attachment

• Style: Novelty / outdoor hat

• Power: Solar panel + detachable fan

Description
Some people wear their heart on their sleeve. You wear pizza, donuts, or cookie eyes — complete with a bite-mark brim that proves you couldn’t wait for lunch.

Features

• Crisp embroidery & digital print so realistic you’ll lick the brim

• Polyester dome for breathable, all-day snack hustling

• Adjustable fit for adult-sized appetites

• Bite-mark brim because patience is overrated

• Styles include Pizza!, The Munchies (donut or cookie), and Big Eyes (cookie pattern)

• Perfect for skate parks, festivals, or cutting the food truck line

Specifications

• Material: Polyester with embroidered/digital print

• Colors/Styles: Pizza!, Donut, Cookie, Big Eyes

• Sizes: Adjustable (one size fits most)

• Fit: Flat-brim cap

• Style: Casual novelty hat

• Embroidery/Print: High-quality detailing

Description
Skip the $3,500 shoebox apartment and just wear the city on your head. The Big Apple Hat serves retro streetwear vibes whether you’ve been to New York or just watched Law & Order.

Features

• Embroidered patch with bold, pop-art apple + crowd design

• Cotton twill dome for all-day borough comfort

• Distressed brim for instant “I’ve seen things” credibility

• Adjustable strap for Yankees fans and posers alike

• Available in black, khaki, and washed denim

• Perfect for tourists, locals, and fake New Yorkers alike

Specifications

• Material: Cotton twill

• Colors: Black, Khaki, Washed Blue

• Sizes: Adjustable (one size fits most)

• Fit: Classic dad hat

• Style: Retro streetwear

• Embroidery: Premium patch stitching