Your baby can’t vote yet — but they can protest.

The I Only Cry When Democrats Hold Me bodysuit is the perfect conversation starter for family gatherings, political debates, or Thanksgiving meltdowns. Soft cotton comfort for the baby, existential discomfort for everyone else.

Whether you’re gifting it ironically or proudly, it’s the perfect mix of chaos and cuddles. Guaranteed to make someone at brunch uncomfortable — which is exactly the point.

Details

– 100% cotton, because your baby deserves premium political satire

– Three-snap closure for quick changes during campaign blowouts

– Printed bold white text on red (like a tiny protest sign)

– Great gag gift for baby showers, gender reveals, or Fox News watch parties

– Machine washable (for when things get messy, politically or otherwise)

For the confident baby who knows their limits.

The Feelin’ Cute Might Shit Myself Later bodysuit is an adorable (and brutally honest) outfit for your little ticking time bomb. It’s soft, breathable, and designed for parents who’ve accepted that style and chaos can coexist.

Perfect for baby showers, photoshoots, or any time you want to warn loved ones what’s coming next.

Details

– 100% cotton comfort for sensitive skin and bold statements

– Three-snap bottom for fast disaster response

– Long sleeve for warmth and drama

– High-quality print that survives endless blowouts

– Ideal gag gift for new parents or the dangerously sleep-deprived

Ever looked down at your feet and thought, “These could be funnier”?

Introducing Duck Feet Socks — the unholy blend of comfort and chaos. These 3D-printed socks turn your legs into full-blown webbed nightmares. Perfect for white elephant exchanges, gag gifts, or just confusing people at the grocery store.

Slide into a pair and instantly waddle your way into legend.

Details

– Fits most adult feet (men’s up to size 11)

– 80% polyester, 10% cotton, 10% spandex — stretchier than your excuses

– Realistic 3D duck leg print (hauntingly accurate)

– Machine washable (unlike actual ducks)

– Ideal for parties, gifts, or just ruining serious moments

Introducing the Boob Stress Ball, a squishy masterpiece of modern engineering designed to help you cope with life’s daily disappointments—one squeeze at a time.

She’s soft. She’s round. She’s here for emotional support.

Perfect for the office, awkward Secret Santas, or anyone who just needs to grab life by the… well, you know. Whether you’re decompressing from emails, existential dread, or another “quick” Zoom call that went 45 minutes over, this trusty titty’s got your back (and your hand).

Details

– Life-sized, hand-satisfying squish

– Made of soft silicone rubber that jiggles like destiny

– The ultimate desk companion for stress relief or sheer immaturity

– Makes a perfect gag gift for coworkers or white elephant parties

– Not recommended for children, HR departments, or serious people

Introducing the Erectable Pendant — a bold, metallic tribute to bad decisions and big energy.

This legendary piece starts modestly… then rises to the occasion. A fully poseable pendant that stands tall when the moment calls for it. Crafted from zinc alloy and pure confidence, it’s the perfect blend of chaos, comedy, and craftsmanship.

Wear it to a date, a wedding, or a job interview (we dare you). Whether you’re gifting it to a friend or keeping it as a personal power amulet, the Erectable Pendant guarantees one thing — you’ll never go soft in style.

Details

– Adjustable, functional “hinge” for maximum comedic performance

– Zinc alloy construction with metallic finish

– Lightweight enough for daily wear or shameless flexing

– Available in silver, gold, or bronze

– Guaranteed to make HR uncomfortable

Finally, a pacifier that says, “My baby’s ready for NASCAR.”

The Hillbilly Baby Pacifier is a comedy classic in baby form. Complete with a set of charmingly crooked teeth, this bad boy transforms your little angel into the poster child for questionable genetics. Whether you’re showing up to a baby shower, trolling your in-laws, or just want your newborn to make their comedy debut early — this pacifier delivers.

Made of safe, soft silicone and built for laughs, it’s the perfect mix of practical and unholy.

Details

– Made from food-grade silicone (safe, hilarious, and weirdly realistic)

– Perfect for baby showers, gag gifts, or cursed photo ops

– Fits standard newborn to toddler mouths

– Easy to clean (unlike your life choices)

– Guaranteed to horrify at least one family member

For anyone who’s ever said, “I’ll get my life together tomorrow”… and then didn’t.

The Trying to Get My Shit Together Cat Tee is your new emotional support shirt — featuring one exhausted feline doing its absolute best in the litter box of life. Soft, lightweight, and stupidly relatable, this tee turns your burnout into a punchline and your midlife crisis into wearable art.

Perfect for cat lovers, chronic overthinkers, and anyone currently pretending to be “fine.”

Details

– 100% cotton, soft enough to cry into

– Unisex fit for maximum shared suffering

– Machine washable (like your dreams)

– Printed with non-toxic inks that survive your 3rd mental breakdown

– Available in multiple sizes for all levels of chaos