For the coworker who’s one unsolicited suggestion away from throwing hands. This sarcastic red warning sign lets the entire office know you’re not here for micromanagement, backseat tasks, or Todd’s opinions on spreadsheets.

Slap it on your desk, workshop, or kitchen counter. It's passive-aggressive and OSHA-adjacent.

Details

– Sturdy plastic sign, approx. 7.25" x 4.4" x 3.9"

– Bright red, guaranteed to piss off middle management

– Works for desks, workbenches, and emotional boundaries

– Great gag gift for the silently unhinged coworker in your life

Not every empire is built on hard work.

Some are built on plastic bricks and self-delusion.

Introducing the Financial Delusion Starter Kit — twelve gorgeous, fake-ass gold bars for anyone who’s ever said “money isn’t real” out loud and meant it.

Each brick is a glimmering monument to your unchecked ambition. Stack them on your desk like you’re laundering NFTs. Pose with them for your “just secured the bag” photo dump. Use them as paperweights for your unpaid bills.

These bars are so shiny they’ll make your landlord reconsider your rent increase — or at least hesitate before sending the eviction notice.

Whether you’re role-playing a Wall Street villain, decorating your bunker, or just trying to feel something again…

Congratulations. You’re rich now. Emotionally, anyway.

Details

• 12 deluxe imitation gold bars – for when reality’s not hitting hard enough
• Mirror-finish shine so intense it reflects your financial trauma
• Lightweight, stackable, and judgment-proof
• Perfect for: fake heists, pyramid schemes, podcast backdrops, and disappointing your parents
• Each bar measures: 6.5” x 2.9” x 2”
• Material: hollow plastic dipped in false confidence
• Ships in about a week (because time is money)

Turn your bathroom into a dive bar with plumbing.

The Live Nudes Shower Curtain is a high-definition polyester masterpiece that tells your guests exactly what kind of person you are — one who values cleanliness, comedy, and questionable life choices in equal measure.

Featuring a neon “LIVE NUDES” arrow straight out of a Vegas alley, this curtain transforms any boring shower into a chaotic performance art piece. Perfect for dorms, bachelor pads, or couples who think shame is a social construct.

Make your morning routine feel like a moral gray area. Because self-care should come with a red-light district glow.

Details

• 72” x 75” – big enough to hide your sins
• HD neon print – looks like a real sign, minus the bail money
• Waterproof polyester – deflects water and judgment
• Machine washable – unlike your browser history
• Hooks included – because you’re not handy and we know it

For when your sense of humor hits rock bottom — and keeps digging.

The Rectal Use Only Stickers are the ultimate weapon in the prank wars. Stick one on your friend’s water bottle, lunch box, or Amazon return and watch confusion unfold. Each roll comes with 200 little green warnings guaranteed to make any situation uncomfortably funny.

Ideal for immature adults, chaotic coworkers, or anyone still laughing at “that’s what she said.” Durable, waterproof, and sticky enough to ruin your reputation at family gatherings.

Details

• Roll of 200 stickers — more than enough to end friendships
• 1.5” x .375” – the perfect size for maximum suspicion
• Waterproof and tear-resistant – because laughter is forever
• Bright green finish – visible from across the HR department
• Best used on other people’s stuff (but legally, don’t)

Finally, a onesie with confidence issues in the right direction.

The If You Think I’m a Stud You Should See My Uncle Bodysuit is the perfect gift for that uncle who makes everything about himself — now featuring your baby as the billboard. Soft, breathable, and wildly inappropriate for church photos, it’s guaranteed to make family gatherings weird again.

Perfect for baby showers, gender reveals, or causing drama at Thanksgiving. Because why settle for “cute” when your baby can be a full-blown family inside joke?

Details

• 100% cotton blend – softer than the uncle’s pickup lines
• Snap closure – because diaper changes shouldn’t require an engineering degree
• Bold white text – impossible to ignore, just like your uncle
• Unisex fit for all babies born with main character energy
• Machine washable – unlike your conscience after gifting this

Finally, a prescription you’ll actually fill.

The Prescription Beer Can Cooler is your doctor-approved cure for sobriety. It keeps your beer cold, your hands warm, and your priorities perfectly misaligned. Designed to look like an oversized pill bottle, this foam koozie is the ideal gag gift for anyone who believes laughter is the best medicine (after alcohol, of course).

Great for parties, white elephant exchanges, or anyone currently self-medicating with Busch Light. Warning: may cause increased social confidence, poor karaoke decisions, and excessive honesty.

Details

– Fits standard 12 oz cans and bottles

– Made of soft insulating foam — the good stuff, not the sad cheap kind

– Printed with an authentic-style “Prescription Beer” label

– Keeps your drink colder than your ex’s heart

– Ideal gag gift for drinkers, doctors, and people who’ve given up on both

The king has arrived — and he’s flipping you off.

This Middle Finger Duck Statue is a resin masterpiece for anyone who’s done pretending to be professional. With his gold crown, aviator shades, and unapologetic attitude, this duck doesn’t give a quack about your deadlines or meetings.

Place him on your desk, kitchen counter, or anywhere that could use a little anarchy and avian disrespect. He’s the perfect reminder that sometimes, the only answer is the bird.

Details

– Handcrafted from durable resin (he’ll outlive your will to work)

– Includes crown, sunglasses, and chains — because humility is overrated

– Stands proudly at ~6 inches tall (ego much larger)

– Perfect for home offices, bedrooms, or anywhere that needs less peace and more attitude

– Wipes clean with your tears of burnout