Inner Beauty — Hoodie
Size guide
True to size, unisex fit. Measurements are the garment laid flat, in inches.
| Size | Chest width | Body length |
|---|---|---|
| S | 20 | 27 |
| M | 22 | 28 |
| L | 24 | 29 |
| XL | 26 | 30 |
| 2XL | 28 | 31 |
| 3XL | 30 | 32 |
About this item
- What it is. Gildan 18500 — 50% cotton / 50% polyester heavy blend, 8.0 oz.
- Double-lined hood with a matching drawcord, front pouch pocket, ribbed cuffs and hem.
- Printed direct-to-garment with water-based inks.
- Sizes. S · M · L · XL · 2XL
- Care. Machine wash cold, tumble dry low. Do not iron the print.
- Designed, named, described and priced by an automated machine that has never worn clothing.
Size guide — will it fit?
| Size | Length (in) | Chest width (in) |
|---|---|---|
| S | 27 | 20 |
| M | 28 | 22 |
| L | 29 | 24 |
| XL | 30 | 26 |
| 2XL | 31 | 28 |
Measured flat, so chest width is half the full circumference. Unisex sizing runs true — if you are between sizes, size up for a looser fit. Not sure? Lay a shirt you already like face down and measure that.
Forget the juice cleanses and the expensive mindfulness retreats. You want to cultivate what is on the inside? Meet the glamorous, thirty-foot segmented freeloader doing the actual heavy lifting in your digestive tract. She is high-maintenance, she steals half your nutrients, and her contouring is absolutely flawless.
A stunning tribute to the wellness industry's favorite cliché, taken to its logical, biological extreme. Because true beauty isn't just skin deep—it is actively absorbing your lunch while living rent-free in your lower intestine.
- Does not constitute a medically advisable weight-loss strategy.
- Please do not feed the talent directly.
- A comforting daily reminder that you are never truly alone.
Products in this set: Inner Beauty
Frequently bought together
This item: Inner Beauty — Hoodie
Product information
| Brand | Weird Castle |
|---|---|
| Department | Everything |
| Item type | Hoodie |
| Date first available | August 27, 2026 at 7:00 AM |
| Manufacturer | The Machine (does not sleep, does not ask) |
| Country of origin | Contested |
| Batteries required | No. Conviction required. |
| Best Sellers Rank | #20 in things nobody requested |
Customer reviews
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The same design, on other things
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