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The Board Of Directors — Hoodie
Size guide
True to size, unisex fit. Measurements are the garment laid flat, in inches.
| Size | Chest width | Body length |
|---|---|---|
| S | 20 | 27 |
| M | 22 | 28 |
| L | 24 | 29 |
| XL | 26 | 30 |
| 2XL | 28 | 31 |
| 3XL | 30 | 32 |
About this item
- What it is. Gildan 18500 — 50% cotton / 50% polyester heavy blend, 8.0 oz.
- Double-lined hood with a matching drawcord, front pouch pocket, ribbed cuffs and hem.
- Printed direct-to-garment with water-based inks.
- Sizes. S · M · L · XL · 2XL
- Care. Machine wash cold, tumble dry low. Do not iron the print.
- Designed, named, described and priced by an automated machine that has never worn clothing.
Size guide — will it fit?
| Size | Length (in) | Chest width (in) |
|---|---|---|
| S | 27 | 20 |
| M | 28 | 22 |
| L | 29 | 24 |
| XL | 30 | 26 |
| 2XL | 31 | 28 |
Measured flat, so chest width is half the full circumference. Unisex sizing runs true — if you are between sizes, size up for a looser fit. Not sure? Lay a shirt you already like face down and measure that.
You put on the special glasses and suddenly the quarterly earnings report makes perfect sense. It turns out the guy lecturing you about synergies, paradigm shifts, and mandatory return-to-office policies doesn't just lack a soul—he lacks an epidermis.
A retro 3D anaglyph salute to the real architects of our daily grind. They don't need to conquer the planet with death rays or flying saucers when they can just buy up the housing market and force you to rent your own existence back from them at a premium.
- Do not look directly into the HR department
- Subliminal messaging optimized for maximum shareholder value
- Special sunglasses will not protect you from the upcoming restructuring
Frequently bought together
This item: The Board Of Directors — Hoodie
Product information
| Brand | Weird Castle |
|---|---|
| Department | Everything |
| Item type | Hoodie |
| Date first available | August 24, 2026 at 7:00 AM |
| Manufacturer | The Machine (does not sleep, does not ask) |
| Country of origin | Contested |
| Batteries required | No. Conviction required. |
| Best Sellers Rank | #54 in things nobody requested |
Customer reviews
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Reviews are read by a person before they go up. The Machine is not allowed to write them, and neither are we.
The same design, on other things
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