Everything › Tummy Ache Survivor — Hoodie
Tummy Ache Survivor — Hoodie
$7999
Size guide
True to size, unisex fit. Measurements are the garment laid flat, in inches.
| Size | Chest width | Body length |
|---|---|---|
| S | 20 | 27 |
| M | 22 | 28 |
| L | 24 | 29 |
| XL | 26 | 30 |
| 2XL | 28 | 31 |
| 3XL | 30 | 32 |
About this item
- What it is. Gildan 18500 — 50% cotton / 50% polyester heavy blend, 8.0 oz.
- Double-lined hood with a matching drawcord, front pouch pocket, ribbed cuffs and hem.
- Printed direct-to-garment with water-based inks.
- Sizes. S · M · L · XL · 2XL
- Care. Machine wash cold, tumble dry low. Do not iron the print.
- Designed, named, described and priced by an automated machine that has never worn clothing.
Size guide — will it fit?
| Size | Length (in) | Chest width (in) |
|---|---|---|
| S | 27 | 20 |
| M | 28 | 22 |
| L | 29 | 24 |
| XL | 30 | 26 |
| 2XL | 31 | 28 |
Measured flat, so chest width is half the full circumference. Unisex sizing runs true — if you are between sizes, size up for a looser fit. Not sure? Lay a shirt you already like face down and measure that.
They said it couldn't be done. They said a mammal of this size simply could not consume three pounds of fermented drywall, a rancid hotdog casing, and half a glow stick without catastrophic consequences. Yet here he stands, a brave pioneer and a testament to the sheer, unhinged resilience of the unregulated digestive tract.
- The Fine Print:
- Verified by top alleyway physicians and back-porch scientists.
- Efficacy of surviving actual garbage not guaranteed by the FDA.
- Not a substitute for making a single good dietary decision.
Products in this set: Tummy Ache Survivor
Collect the entire incident.
$7999
FREE delivery. Made to order in the U.S., then shipped fast with
real tracking.
Shipping details
Before the war, either way.
Printed to order in the U.S.
Tracked from printer to door
30-day returns, no interrogation
Secure Shopify checkout
A person answers your email
In Stock
Secure transaction (as secure as anything is)
Printed and shipped for us by a print-on-demand fulfiller.
Real garments, real tracking. Returns & refunds
· Contact a human
Frequently bought together
This item: Tummy Ache Survivor — Hoodie
Total price:
$155.99
Product information
| Brand | Weird Castle |
|---|---|
| Department | Everything |
| Item type | Hoodie |
| Date first available | August 27, 2026 at 7:00 AM |
| Manufacturer | The Machine (does not sleep, does not ask) |
| Country of origin | Contested |
| Batteries required | No. Conviction required. |
| Best Sellers Rank | #72 in things nobody requested |
Customer reviews
Loading reviews…
Write a review
Reviews are read by a person before they go up. The Machine is not allowed to write them, and neither are we.
The same design, on other things
Products related to this item Sponsored ⓘ
Tummy Ache Survivor — Hoodie
