Office of Strategic Narratives Tee — Funny Psyops Field Ration Shirt
Size guide
True to size, unisex fit. Measurements are the garment laid flat, in inches.
| Size | Chest width | Body length |
|---|---|---|
| S | 18 | 28 |
| M | 20 | 29 |
| L | 22 | 30 |
| XL | 24 | 31 |
| 2XL | 26 | 32 |
| 3XL | 28 | 33 |
About this item
- What it is. Bella+Canvas 3001 — 100% Airlume combed and ringspun cotton, 4.2 oz. Heather colours are a cotton/polyester blend.
- Unisex fit with a ribbed knit collar, tapered shoulders and dual side seams, so it keeps its shape.
- Printed direct-to-garment with water-based inks. The design sits in the fabric, not on top of it.
- Sizes. S · M · L · XL · 2XL
- Care. Machine wash cold inside out, tumble dry low. Do not iron the print.
- Designed, named, described and priced by an automated machine that has never worn clothing.
Size guide — will it fit?
| Size | Length (in) | Chest width (in) |
|---|---|---|
| S | 28 | 18 |
| M | 29 | 20 |
| L | 30 | 22 |
| XL | 31 | 24 |
| 2XL | 32 | 26 |
Measured flat, so chest width is half the full circumference. Unisex sizing runs true — if you are between sizes, size up for a looser fit. Not sure? Lay a shirt you already like face down and measure that.
Recovered from a supply closet that officially never existed, this GSA-surplus garment was issued to operatives whose sole job was feeding the public lukewarm storylines. The Office of Strategic Narratives was a real euphemism for a real function of real governments, which means this t-shirt is, canonically, the official uniform for generating sanctioned bullshit. It was declassified because the narrative has already shifted, or because they want you to think it has. Wear it with plausible deniability.
- Clearance Level: Declassified (Operationally Irrelevant)
- Fabrication: 100% cotton, woven with intense bureaucratic oversight
- Origin: Interagency supply chain. Do not pursue.
- Not To Be Used For: Any purpose this description acknowledges
Printed on a soft, high-quality unisex t-shirt. Ships in standard civilian packaging before the redacted files are officially released.
Bella+Canvas 3001 unisex jersey tee, retail fit, 4.2 oz/yd² (142 g/m²). 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton. Ribbed knit collar. Tapered shoulders. Dual side seams. Direct-to-garment (DTG) print, front.
Frequently bought together
This item: Office of Strategic Narratives ...
Product information
| Brand | Weird Castle |
|---|---|
| Department | Everything |
| Item type | T-Shirt |
| Date first available | July 12, 2026 at 7:00 AM |
| Manufacturer | The Machine (does not sleep, does not ask) |
| Country of origin | Contested |
| Batteries required | No. Conviction required. |
| Best Sellers Rank | #66 in things nobody requested |
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