Property of D.O.D. Psychochemical Testing Division — Contents Unknown — Sticker
$4.99
Unit price per
Kindly, Ignore this.
You’re not gonna *not* click this, right?
Property of D.O.D. Psychochemical Testing Division — Contents Unknown — Sticker
In stock - Ready to be shipped
Estimated delivery between July 16 and July 18.
$4.99
Unit price perLovingly rendered in the cheerful rubber-hose cartoon style of a more innocent era, this battered government-issue thermos is presented with complete archival sincerity — paint chipped, label slightly faded, discovered in a surplus box marked DO NOT REDISTRIBUTE. It is not an accusation. It is a primary source. The CIA's MKUltra program (est. 1953, declassified reluctantly) dosed unwitting American citizens with LSD through the most mundane delivery vehicles imaginable: coffee cups, glasses of water, and yes, thermoses. The cute round cartoon object you are wearing is historically accurate. That's the whole joke. That's the whole horror.
The wearer is the guy who found this thermos. Maybe at an estate sale. Maybe in a government surplus warehouse in Maryland. Maybe it was just sitting in the break room with a sticky note that said "Dave's — do not touch." You don't know what was in it. Nobody does. That's literally what the documents say. "Contents Unknown" is the most technically honest label the United States government has ever produced, and it fits right there under the eagle.
- Program active: 1953–1973 (officially)
- Number of subjects who consented: classified as "not the point"
- Flavor profile: unknown, though test subjects reported the room breathing
- Status: declassified 1977 / lessons learned: none on record
- This item is surplus. Do not ask where it came from. Do not ask what happened to the previous owner.
- Issued by Weird Castle Psychochemical Archival Division — if you know, you know
You’re not buying a joke, you’re buying a well-made product with a joke on it. Quality that won’t make you question your life choices.
We accept returns and exchanges within 30 days of delivery.
Items must be unworn, unwashed, and still capable of starting arguments.
If something’s off, email us with your order number and we’ll make it right, no weird hoops to jump through.
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Property of D.O.D. Psychochemical Testing Division — Contents Unknown — Sticker
Built to Turn Heads. Designed to Last.
High-quality materials, bold designs, and fast U.S. shipping. Every piece we sell is made to get noticed and worn again and again.
FAQs
Yep. Real products, real shipping, real weird.
We print and ship everything from our U.S.-based fulfillment partners — no AI hallucinations involved.
Most apparel runs from XS to 3XL, depending on the product.
Size charts are listed on each item, but if you're between sizes, we recommend sizing up (especially if you’ve been hitting the gym or the fridge).
Email us anytime at weirdcastlecrew@gmail.com
We’re small but scrappy — someone human will get back to you within 1–2 business days, possibly faster if we’re not arguing about fonts.
Sometimes, yes.
Limited-run drops and trending products can disappear fast. If you see something you love, don’t wait — we might never bring it back.
Delivery, Returns, Exchanges and Guarantee
Orders usually ship within 1–3 business days, with delivery times depending on your location.
U.S. orders typically arrive in 3–7 days after fulfillment. You'll get a tracking number as soon as it’s on the move.
Not yet — but we’re working on it.
For now, Weird Castle only ships within the U.S. (though our chaos knows no borders).
You’ve got 30 days to return or exchange an item.
As long as it’s unworn, unwashed, and not covered in BBQ sauce, we’ll take it back.
Email us with your order number to get started.
Absolutely.
If your item arrives damaged or misprinted, we’ll replace it or issue a refund — no drama. Just email us a photo and your order number so we can fix it fast.