For when you're this close to snapping.

This lavender-scented candle smells like the only thing holding you together. Burn it before you burn bridges. Makes a great passive-aggressive gift for friends, exes, coworkers, or just yourself.

Details

– 3.6oz soy wax

– lavender scent (calms rage… kinda)

– glass jar with “my last nerve – oh look, it’s on fire” label

– slow burn, fast mood shift

– ideal for desks, bathrooms, or emotionally unstable environments

A soft, plush, lavender-colored middle finger to the world. This fuck-shaped bath mat dries your feet and your spirit. Cozy as hell, offensive as needed. Perfect for bathrooms, dorms, or anywhere someone needs to take a fucking hint.

Details

– 27” x 15”

– Plush microfiber top, TPR anti-slip bottom

– Absorbent enough for post-shower puddles or post-breakup cries

– Machine washable

– The mat says fuck, and it fucking means it

Because nothing says “responsible adult” like carrying your earbuds in a box of Kraft. This cheesy little case is shaped like a mini tub of your childhood comfort food, complete with noodle graphics, a lid, and regret. Protects your AirPods 3rd Gen and your soul from growing up too fast.

Details

– Fits AirPods 3rd Gen

– Food-grade silicone (don’t eat it tho)

– Clip attachment for bags, keys, and lunchboxes

– Looks like it belongs in a pantry, not a pocket

You ever loved a candy so much you wish it could hold your tech?

No? Well, now you will. This Sour Patch–inspired silicone case turns your AirPods Pro into a walking sugar rush. Or at least a dangling one. Fits snug. Feels squishy. Looks edible. Not edible.

Details

– Compatible with AirPods Pro 2nd & 1st gen

– Vibrant soft silicone in candy bag shape

– Durable, drop-resistant, and weirdly nostalgic

– Clip it to your keys, backpack, or diabetes

It’s a Korok. It’s a backpack. It’s your AirPods case.

This silicone buddy is inspired by your favorite little forest freeloaders — except this one protects your expensive tech instead of yelling “Yahaha!” and giving you a rock. Comes with a keychain clip and an attitude of gentle confusion.

Details

– Compatible with AirPods 4

– Korok-style cartoon backpack design

– Silicone body with snug fit and full protection

– Includes carabiner for keychains, bags, etc.

– Perfect for gamers, wanderers, and the weird

Finally, a product that says: “I take my audio hygiene seriously… and I moisturize.”

This AirPods 4 case looks exactly like a tub of Vaseline, because why wouldn’t it? Includes a full cleaning kit so you can scrub your buds like a responsible adult. Hangs from your keys. Freaks out strangers. No regrets.

Details

– Compatible with AirPods 4

– 3D silicone case modeled after Vaseline jar

– Includes 3-piece cleaning tool set

– Anti-drop, dust-resistant, clip-on carabiner

– Confusing and functional — just like you

Introducing the perfect hydration illusion. Whether you’re hiding from the HOA or just trolling the neighbors, these double-sided coolers say “I Identify As a Water” — and somehow, no one questions it. Comes in a 2-pack for maximum legal coverage. Great for dads, dudes, and degenerates.

Details

– Set includes 2 neoprene can sleeves

– Fits standard 12 oz cans

– Bold white text on matte black background

– Collapsible, durable, and deceptively innocent

– Legally we’re not liable for what’s inside the can